Everything Old Is New Again
by EvilPixey
Summary: Set after 5x4 What if no one said yes what if the world just ended around us. How would it start over? Castiel/OC
1. Chapter 1

**This is set some where around 5x4 'The End' mostly cause I love stoner Cass. lol**

_This is the other one that has been nagging at me to be written. Have to do it or never sleep again. This is alittle short just a prologue to get it started. Feedback PLEASE. _

_Isa I am almost positive you are the one who set this in motion for me lol. _

_Enjoy_

_EP_

_Xox_

**Everything Old Is New Again.**

**Prologue**

**5 years in the future**

He was standing in the pouring spring rain, old and tattered jeans, beat up t-shirt a jacket worn too thin, much to his dismay he discovered the old beaten work boots he wore had also developed a leak. Soaked and cold he had no choice but to stand and wait he had a jog to do.

He was there to level the field, balance the scales again. It wasn't his idea, his ideas had gone by the wayside a long time ago along with his identity, pride, self respect, hell even his sobriety was in the toilet. This wasn't an order for a good soldier either, not that he took orders, not anymore. Still, even if he did, this didn't seem like a good deed, as a matter of fact he was pretty sure the whole Idea was pretty fucked up. But maybe he was the man for the job, this required a certain flair, ability, lack of self respect that he was all to familiar with these days, or had been. More than anything he was told, this was humanities last chance, the last hope.

It had gone on for years most of the people had rolled over and died taken by a virus, or an earthquake, perhaps a flood, or the fires, that no one could ever put out, or some other disaster. When it was done there was almost nothing and no one seemed to care. Even Lucifer didn't seem to want the place and he had started the whole damn mess. In the end there were just handfuls of people scattered across the world. Small pockets of humanity searching for some sort of normal life or better yet death.

Few as there were it was worth noting that humanity had somehow managed to hold out this long. As a whole, it was all but dead stil,l somehow, it's heart was beating, thin and threading, frayed, but, consistent. There were no angels left and no God to save them, no devil to kill them, or at least that is what he thought, what they all thought, until now.

Then one day it happened. Everything he thought was true, he thought was his new reality was proven wrong… he was given the opportunity to set it right again. All of it right again, or at least the chance to start over or so he was told. At first he thought he was hallucinating, fucking delusional maybe. Wouldn't surprise him a bit to just lose his mind.

Why him? Why after all of this time pick him? After all he was the worst of the worst the bottom of the barrel not worth saving nor killing.

Still they were persistent, it was him it rested on his shoulders, okay not exactly his shoulders but.. Yeah it was all on him. All he had to do was go back… go back and find her. Go back 3 years.

He was shaken into reality by a loud crash of thunder when the car he was waiting on unceremoniously came to a halt just a few feet away. He watched as the woman inside tried to restart the engine several times to no avail. This was his cue, he was there to meet her, talk to her. Seduce her.

XXX

**Still 5 years in the future**

"Fuck" Molly said just under her breath as she held the long plastic test strip up to the light just to be certain.

'Son of a bitch." it was positive. "Dammit Molly you're not a kid." she chastised herself. "Your father is a fucking doctor, ever hear of a condom you stupid bitch." she continued the litany of self degradation as she finished getting dressed. She looked into the mirror and fingered through her dark brown hair. "Good enough" she grumbled.

She could beat herself up herself all she wanted, it didn't change the fact she was pregnant, and the father.. well he was some guy she would never hear from again.

She tossed the test in the trash, she almost hated to throw it away, the damn things were worth their weight in gold, most things were these days. She slammed her apartment door shut and headed to the clinic across the street that her father ran. It was one of the last in the area and today would be busy… everyday was busy. People were sick, as a matter of fact just about everybody was sick. The world was spinning out of control that much had become obvious in the last 5 years and really there weren't many left at all.

Most towns were boarded up and everyone was beginning to live in small clusters. It made sense until some new virus hit the scene then… well, then it turned those small clusters into hot beds of infection that people tried to escape. A few did and it started all over again. This was the third city she and her father had lived in just this year alone and she couldn't count how many times they had packed up and moved in the last 5 years. Five years, since her mom died, since it all started, since it all went to hell… literally.

XXX

**5 months later.**

Their small convoy traveled the Midwestern back roads. It was easier not to be spotted this way. Funny as it was, those infected with the Croatoan virus weren't the biggest worry anymore, although they still posed a problem. It was the others, the small groups of people who pulled together, usually too sick or too injured to take care of themselves and some just too lazy of course. They had come to the habit of hijacking supply trucks as they passed close to their communities.

Every one was armed and everyone stuck together. They didn't stop for any reason. If they saw something suspicious they went back later in smaller groups, better prepared and well armed. No one left camp after dark with out good reason, it was mid November and the cold and dark came on quickly.

Castiel drove the truck behind Deans, it had been a long day and they had covered a few hundred miles seeking the supplies they needed. The camp held close to 70 people now and those people required a lot necessities. Which meant they covered a lot of miles, hit a lot of towns and it often resulted in a lot of disappointment as most things had already been pillaged and plundered, if not by them then by another encampment trying to get by.

From the corner of his eye Castiel spotted something out of the ordinary. He had lost his mojo ages ago but, his senses were still better than most, even inebriated, as he was most of the time. He flashed headlights to signal to Dean, then turned sharply off the course.

"What the hell Cass?" Chuck who was his passenger complained.

"Saw something." he grunted turning the wheel sharply again.

"So we come back later." his nervous passenger reminded.

"Later might be too late." the former angel told him as he sped up, stretching his neck trying to see any sign of the SUV he had noticed.

"Cass c'mon man… it's getting dark. Tell Dean, he will check it out."

Just then he saw it. A dark SUV on it's side swarming with about a dozen Croats.

"No No way Cass." Chuck shook his head "Who ever is or WAS in there is toast."

Castiel narrowed his eyes on the vehicle and the infected surrounding it. "It's closed up… tight, no one has gotten in or out."

"Okay well then they are dead anyway… look at the thing it must have rolled 4 or 5 times." Chuck pointed out.

"Gotta be sure." Castiel said with another grunt as he loaded the sawed off and stuffed his pockets with shells.

Chuck sighed at him wide eyes obviously terrified. He wasn't usually along for these trips and he definitely wasn't used to dealing with the infected.

"Just stay until I call you." Castiel told him getting out of the truck.

He blasted away taking care not to hit the SUV and hoping against hope he wouldn't attract anymore infected with the shotgun blasts. He was lucky, they dropped easily and he didn't attract a crowd.

He called Chuck to come help him as he worked his way into the SUV kicking through the windshield.

"…And?" asked a nervous Chuck.

"She's alive." Castiel told him as he noticed something curious. Laying his hand on her stomach he held his breath. "C'mon… be okay." he said in a voice that was so low it was not quite a whisper. As if on cue the bump on the woman's belly squirmed and jumped under his hand. He smiled, a real smile, maybe for the first time ever.

"And she's pregnant." he added.

"Yeah… right no one is pregnant anymore." Chuck reminded him sarcastically

"She is" he said grabbing her under her shoulders and pulling her free of the SUV.

"I'll be damned" Chuck said looking down at the woman.

Castiel sat her up against his shoulder and brushed the glass from the broken window off of her. He looked at her almost curiously.

"Come on Cass, you've seen plenty of women and we've officially lost daylight." Chuck complained.

"There are two bags." he nodded toward the SUV "get em and throw em in the back."

Chuck reluctantly crawled in the broken window and pulled out the two black duffels then ran back to the truck as fast as he could.

"You can drive" Castiel said tossing Chuck the keys.

"Dean's not gonna like this.. I mean she could have anything." Chuck told the former angel.

"Maybe it's not up to Dean." Castiel told him, looking down at the dark haired woman.


	2. Chap1

First real chapter when they find out who she is... things will come together slowly with this. I know exactly where it is going and have plotted it out on paper but.... i am still not sure how it will all come to pass. I expect there will be alot of flashbacks and a lot of dream/visions explaining the missing bits. but.. who knows with the way i write, this is one of those stories that is hell bent on telling it's self.

FEEDBACK i need to know if you are getting this. lol it will be a twister and i want to be sure every one is along for the ride.

xox

EP

Chapter 1

Marked

Castiel arrived at the encampment about 30 minutes behind everyone else. Dean was waiting for him and he didn't look pleased. The rules were clear no one broke off on their own. They couldn't afford to lose anyone or the cargo they hauled. It may have seemed heartless but, it was a fact. There weren't many there who were experienced and healthy enough to fight the infected or the uninfected for that matter. Law enforcement was a thing of the past and it was truly survival of the fittest… most weren't prepared. Those who didn't fight or make supply runs didn't get off easy, there was plenty of work inside the encampment as well. It took a great deal of effort to ration food and personal items to so many people, not to mention medical care, and then there was mapping each new catastrophe, planning each supply run. When the entire planet is a disaster zone keeping up with it all can be a challenge. New storms, fires, earthquakes, and infections were a daily occurrence they had to be careful as none of them wanted to drive into a war zone, a hot bed of infection or worse.

"What the hell was that about!" Dean demanded approaching the truck before Castiel could even open his door.

Castiel swung the door open and gently slid out still carrying the unconscious woman in his arms. He merely shot Dean a look of irritation as he began to walk to the back of the truck.

"Cass what about the bags?" Chuck questioned as he got out of the drivers side.

"Bring them to me." he answered and kept walking towards his own cabin at a quick and steady pace.

"Where'd she come from?" Dean asked his tone still demanding.

"An SUV, flipped over about 10 miles back." the former angel answered as he approached the steps.

"Where you taking her?"

"I'm keeping her with me." he said firmly as the cabin door swung open after he gave it a light kick with his boot.

"Whoa no Cass you know the rules everyone goes the infirmary when they get here. No one is allowed in the general population till Doc checks em out." Dean insisted, following him into the neat but sparsely furnished cabin.

"Doc can come here." he made his way across the main room and lay her on the bed, then bent to have a closer look at her.

"Sorry Cass can't happen."

"Dean this woman is different.. She's staying with me." Castiel said as he took a closer look at the wounds on her head, then began to gingerly removed her coat.

"Really what's so different?" Dean questioned.

'She's pregnant" he said stepping away allowing Dean the opportunity to see for himself.

Dean looked down at her, and blinked and shook his head. She was obviously pregnant… very pregnant.

"All the more reason Doc should be looking out for her… not you." Dean informed.

Castiel shook his head and gave a slight sarcastic chuckle, "When's the last time you saw a child under the age of two?"

Dean just looked at him and sighed, he understood the former angel's point but he still was responsible for keeping everyone safe.

"You haven't because there aren't any… there hasn't been a child born anywhere in over two years. Do you really want to send this woman into an infirmary full of who knows what?" Castiel asked.

Dean again shook his head. "Fine, but Doc has to check her out and if there is any sign of anything unusual she goes to the infirmary." Dean compromised.

Castiel nodded his agreement. " She is healthy I'm sure of that."

"How?"

"There is something special about her." Castiel said looking at her and then at Dean as if it should be obvious.

"Isn't having her here gonna cramp your style?" Dean asked with a smirk, looking around at the former angels home.

Castiel rolled his eyes, he was aware of what Dean thought of him and they way he chose to spend his down time. "I'll make a few adjustments." he said, with a sarcastic smirk of his own.

"Hey" Chuck interrupted their conversation. "Her bags are here." he said setting them down on the floor "… and your… umm duffle is on the porch." Chuck told Castiel.

Dean rolled his eyes he knew what was in Castiels duffle. After a successful run it usually contained, narcotics, amphetamines, alcohol, and just about anything else he felt could keep him numb.

Castiel nodded at him and thanked him, then asked him to find Doc and ask her to come right away.

Dean went to the woman's bags and began to unzip them, while Castiel set a pot of water on the wood stove to heat, he then joined Dean to look in her bags. They were looking for something to explain who she was and where she had come from.

XXX

Lilly Vernon was 55 year old woman, she was a country doctor from Nebraska , at least up until the world went to hell a few years ago. She was found early on, when things had started to get bad. When Bobby pulled her out of sink hole, that used to be her office. At the time they were all finding their footing in this mess and Lilly came along for the ride. She had nothing else to do, there was nothing left of her home or practice and she was assured her services would not be wasted.

She agreed and eventually became the one and only doctor at the encampment. Lilly, or Doc as she was called, was considered a valuable resource and when not minding the infirmary, she could be found playing cards and having a beer at the small rundown shack that Bobby now called home.

This was exactly where chuck found her when he went to tell her that Castiel needed her to come to his cabin.

"Doc…" Chuck said slightly out of breath from the hike into the center of camp, "Cass needs you right away."

The dark haired woman with the graying temples looked up at the disheveled prophet and nodded reaching under the table for her bag, "Is he hurt?" she questioned.

"No not him.. He has a woman there you need to look at."

The woman chuckled. "What's he done to her?" she asked with smirk.

Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes. "Nothing he found her this way."

"What way?" The doctor asked.

"Just take a look." Chuck responded.

XXX

Castiel and Dean looked through the duffels and found a wallet with ID, a few medical supplies and clothing. Then Castiel found a map mixed among her possessions that demanded his attention. He picked it up hoping Dean had not noticed what he had then stuffed it in his back pocket.

When doc arrived, Castiel explained how and where he found her and his reluctance to send her to the infirmary where so many were ill. Then he and Dean waited outside on the porch while Doc and one of the nurses cleaned her wounds and examined her.

Once out on the porch Castiel began to root though his duffel, reading the labels of various pill bottles before opening and shaking one out into his hand now and then. When he was satisfied he had the right combination, he pulled a bottle of whiskey from the bag and washed the handful of pills down. Dean simply watched him and rolled his eyes.

Castiel smirked at him, "To each his own my friend." he laughed bitterly, then offered the bottle to Dean… he accepted taking a long pull from it.

Dean leant against the banister of the porch and stared at the former angel.

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"Really Cass it's been a few years don't you think it's time to give up the dejected hippy thing."

"I like it…." he answered simply.

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. "So what do we know about her?" Dean asked.

"According her ID her name is Molly Anne Riggs. She's 30 and at one point she lived in Kansas City. Who knows how long a go that was, Kansas City was wiped off the map near the beginning." he reminded.

"That's it?"

"Pretty much. I did find ID for a Dr William Riggs, age 64. My guess is he was her father." Castiel added.

"So where's he at?"

"Dunno, he wasn't in the SUV with her and I didn't find anything else that might be his." he shrugged, taking another long pull from the bottle.

"You two wanna come in now?" the doctor stuck her head out the door and interrupted.

XXX

"She's five or six months along" Doc started right in with the details while Castiel and Dean stood around the bed looking at the woman. "She has a pretty good bump on her head but, I expect she will wake up in a day or two." she went on.

" Her name is Molly " The angel told the woman, Is she gonna be alright?" Castiel questioned.

"Hard to tell till she opens her eyes." the doctor answered. "But she seems healthy… considering the rest of the world, she seems too healthy" she added.

Castiel nodded with a small knowing smile on his lips.

"Anyway" Doc went on. We cleaned her up and got her into some fresh clothes, she has a few bumps and scrapes but otherwise, like I said, she's damn near perfect."

"She's pregnant what does that mean." Dean asked, still unsure as to why this woman would be with child when no one on the planet had been able to conceive in years.

"Can't answer that." Doc sighed looking at her, "Maybe it's a good sign things are getting better out there, where ever she came from." she offered.

"Can she stay here?" Castiel asked.

"I agree she should stay away from the sick people. I will check on her here a few times a day.. If anything changes we'll move her."

"So she is fine." Dean asked.

"Everything is normal. I only found one strange thing on her.. Well maybe two." the doctor told them. "but nothing I would worry about."

"What did you find?" Castiel asked his curiosity piqued.

"This" Doc answered leaning over the bed. She grabbed the waist band of the well worn sweat pants they had changed to woman into and pulled them down slightly.

On her right hip bone Molly had an unusually shaped birth mark, the area was flat and red in a shape that looked almost like a letter but not quite. "It's a birth mark I am certain" the doctor explained, "But this one…" she said tugging down the left side "Looks almost like a brand." the finished. On her left hip bone there was an area of raised red flesh, similar in size to the birth mark it too looked as if it could be a letter but different than the other.

Castiel looked at the marks and his eyes grew wide, and then narrowed.

"It's not possible" he said in a low voice.

"You know what these are?" The doctor questioned.

"Yes." He nodded.

"You wanna share." Dean asked impatient.

"They are the marks of angels." he told them.


	3. Chapter 2

Little more info a few more clues. curious how we are liking Cass here. the show only gave us a peek at him and his issues and I have had to expand. I know some of you want the happy goofy drunk but i cant help but look deeper into just why he became that guy...

are you buying him this way?

FeedBack please. Thanks for all the reviews guys i am happy you are enjoying this because it wont give me a moments peace lol

xox

EP

Chapter 2

Reality Bites

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed staring down at the woman in front of him, his mouth had gone dry from more than the effects of the narcotics coursing through his body, and his mind reeled with confusion. Looking at the deep red markings on the young woman's hip bones, one obviously with her from birth, that one was confounding enough to the former angel, but… the other mark, was both, chilling and thrilling to him. How did it get there?

He was thankful when Chuck once again fumbled his way into the cabin and interrupted the conversation to inform Doc she had two new patients that needed to be examined, then let Dean know they were preparing to unload the trucks and his assistance was needed.

Doc nodded at Chuck, "Tell them I am on my way." she said just before turning to look down on Castiel who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. He suddenly looked pale and more than a little shaken to her.

"You sure you're alright?" She asked, pulling a hand out of her jeans pocket and placing it on his shoulder.

"Yeah I'm good." he responded, looking up at her but still seeming more than a little distracted.

Doc, tucked her hair behind her ears then reached down and gripped the former angel by his scruffy chin and turned his head until he was facing her, She removed a small flashlight from her pocket and shown it in his eyes. "You really have to stop self medicating Castiel." she grumbled, as she bent over and scrutinized he pupils.

He left out a snort and turned his head away. "Yeah… I'll work on that." he said trying to contain the sarcastic sneer that threatened to break across his lips, instead, he returned his attention back to Molly. He honestly liked Doc and he had no desire to offend her by acting un friendly or acting on the feeling of confusion that had taken a hold of him.

When both Dean and Lilly had left his cabin, Castiel sighed with relief and he once again moved to sit on the bed next to Molly. He studied her, her long and dark almost black hair, he wondered what color her eyes were as he stared into her face, her lips were full and pink he noticed. Her skin pink as well and peachy, very smooth, unlike the pale gray mottled skin tone of most everyone else on the planet right now. She was well fed, not too thin nor heavy, and appeared well cared for. Someone obviously loved her and took great pains to see to it she was well taken care, even as the world burned around her. Somewhere deep inside of him he felt gratitude towards who ever that person was.

He reached with more than a little trepidation to tug the waist band of her sweat pants, and look at the symbols on her body again. But before he slid them down, he looked at the swell of her belly and had an urge to touch it once again. He tried to resist but then gave in laying his hand low on the swell and he closed his eyes. He was surprised to feel the small jump indicating life inside of her and was overcome with a strange sensation that the tiny growing life inside of her was aware of his presence. He shook it off finding the thought silly and pointless and more than likely the result of one too many pills, he would have to re-evaluate the cocktail next time.

He turned his attention back to the symbols on her hip bones. Yes they were symbols of a sort, he knew precisely what they were and even what they meant. He hid that information from Dean and Doc when they were there, but he didn't want to try to explain it to the others, simply because, any explanation would only raise more questions… questions he could not begin to answer.

He looked at them closely and muttered the impossibility of the situation to himself before he flopped backwards on the bed next to her. His head hurt despite the drugs surging through his veins and her mere presence seemed to cause him to ache… ache for his wings… ache for home… ache for his true Identity.

There was a rustling outside on his porch and then the sound of footsteps and the thud of boxes being unloaded. It was Chuck and the others, they had unloaded the truck and they were leaving his share of the haul on his porch. He remained quiet hoping none of them would come to the door. He should go help, after all it was his… supplies… if you could call a few dozen bottles of liquor and a box of canned goods supplies. Instead he rolled to his side and reached under his bed feeling around for the bottle he kept there. His fingers found the long neck of the bottle and he pulled it out, unscrewing the cap and brining it to his lips. He drank deeply from it and tried his best not to ponder what the markings on Molly's body really meant.

XXX

"_Maltiel…"_

_She was watching the Earth, looking down with much interest, sadness and excitement so much so she almost didn't hear him call her name…_

"_Maltiel" came the familiar voice with an anxious tone again. It was an almost desperate call that came from behind._

"_I am still here." she replied reassuringly, without turning to face her visitor. She had no need to turn, she knew who it was and she also understood the desperation that had invaded his usually strong and sure voice. He had heard, he knew she was chosen, he knew she was leaving… She could only hope he would understand her choice…_

"_I.. I thought I had missed you." he said, still apprehensive._

"_I would never leave without saying good-bye to you Castiel." she smiled at him as she turned to face him._

"_Why? Why… now? why you? Is it punishment?" he questioned looking at her with more longing than one angel should possess for another._

"_No" she said with a small laugh. "It is reward… It is my choice.." she explained softly._

"_How can it be reward? You are being removed from Heaven, from Father, from Grace, How is that Reward? Why would you chose such a thing?"_

"_From you… Castiel… do not forget I am being removed from you. Why would I choose to be removed from you?" she spoke the words that were really in the forefront of his mind._

"_Yes." he admitted looking away._

"_We have walked and fought together since the beginning it is only normal you feel as you do… I promise I am doing this for you as much as I am for them."_

"_But… they-"_

"_BUT… I must go now and live amongst them." she told him, with a sympathetic smile._

"…_And this is not punishment?" he asked his voice tinged with anger._

"_Faith… Castiel… remember? This is not goodbye… it is only the doorway to the beginning. This is not the end… The time will pass quickly… a lifetime to them, is but a blink of our eye…. A beat of our hearts if… we had hearts to beat. This is not the end Castiel… I promise…. Soon it will be new again."_

"_I do not understand." he said quietly again looking away._

"_You are not meant to… When the time comes you will…. I promise… you will… have I ever lied to you?"_

"_Of course not…"_

'_Then trust the time will come soon."_

"THUNK" Castiel was awakened by the sound or something heavy hitting the floor and then the familiar rattling and clanking bottles, that followed. He opened his eyes, then quickly closed them again, seeking shelter against the blazing light of morning.

"Too fucking bright." he complained, and rolled to his side.

There was a perky laugh followed by, "Good morning to you too…You left your… um.. Supplies out on the porch." Castiel didn't have to look to know it was the young perky blond whose name he couldn't even remember. She chortled another giggle as she set his duffel on the floor and then continued to push another box across the floor towards his kitchen.

"Yeah…. morning" he nodded without lifting his head, trying to focus his attention in the reality of the too bright morning and pull himself from the dream he had just been awoken from. It was then he realized he had fallen asleep… okay more like passed out… next to Molly. He didn't imagine she would mind, she was, after all unconscious. She didn't even know he was there.

"There are more boxes out there" the girl told him running fingers through her loose falling tresses with one hand while pointing to the porch with the other.

'Uh huh" he mumbled absently, lying flat on his back waiting on the room to stop spinning.

'So you gonna help or what?" the girl questioned with slight impatience, her hands on her hips of her faded jeans, the oversized flannel shirt she wore obviously too big and normally all she would be wearing at this point if it were any other morning, her disappointment in his less than enthusiastic reaction to her presence becoming obvious. He was just trying to remember her name… her name was.. Tina… Tammy… Tara? Oh hell he couldn't remember all of their names anymore and didn't really want to at the moment.. his head hurt.

"I'll get them… you should go.." he said waving her off, not appreciating just how rude he seemed as he started to roll out of bed and then tried to find sure footing on the floor reaching out for the chest in front of him.

"Go?" She questioned. "It's Friday morning and I just got here." she giggled and looked at him expectantly.

"… And I have things to do." he explained, trying to sound less annoyed, He then shuffled towards both her and the door, his hair standing on end and his jeans sagging at his waist. To say he looked rough would have been a compliment.

"Really? And who might that be?" she asked stretching her neck around him to the bed.

He rolled his eyes and bent for his duffle, 'Great' he thought, he hated it when they got jealous. If they only knew he didn't feel a damn thing for any of them… there were no favorites he didn't like one more than the other, hell he didn't even like some of them at all.. If they only knew… they would probably hang him by their favorite appendage… He bit his lip to control the chuckle the mental image brought to mind.

He pulled a fresh bottle from his duffel then stood while giving his too loose jeans a yank upwards. "She's been hurt.. That's all." he sighed, wishing Tammy or Tina or… was it Gail?… whoever she was, he was wishing she would just leave.

"So since when are you the Doc?" she persisted, crossing her arms looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"I'm not.. she's hurt, not sick, she can't go to the infirmary so I'm looking after her.." he explained, his irritation with the conversation and the woman's presence becoming obvious.

Then, apologizing. "Sorry… I know Friday mornings are usually more… um.. Fun?" he told her pushing her gently toward the door, she moved in the right direction reluctantly.

"Fine" she sighed and turned on her heal and left stomping across his porch toward the steps. Passing Chuck on his way up the same stairs.

"Morning Cass." Chuck said as he came toward the door. "Boy she didn't look like a happy customer." he joked running nervous fingers through his hair and nodding toward the blond as she stomped away.

Castiel huffed as he bent to lift one of the three remaining boxes on the porch.

"What can I say… I'm not just a disappointment to myself any longer" he said and let out a disparaging laugh, then grunted as he lifted one of the boxes to carry inside.

Chuck bent and lifted another box and followed him into the cabin. "Wow Cass your food to booze ratio is looking pretty uneven." the prophet noted

"I'm not complaining" he responded as he went out on the porch to collect the remaining box.

Chuck sat down the box he was carrying, then stood and sank his hands into his pockets. "Doc asked me to come and check on the girl" he told Castiel.

Castiel nodded towards the bed. "No change." he said wrinkling his brow, "She hasn't even moved." then he sat the last box on the floor.

"So is she going to be staying here after she wakes up?" Chuck questioned.

"I would imagine that is up to her." he responded wiping his hands on his dirty jeans" adding , " If and when she wakes."

"Cass?" Chuck questioned nervously "You said she was special, what did you mean?"

"She's pregnant, she's healthy. Two things that are almost impossible in this world…. That's all." he told him as he headed for the door, not wanting to think about the real reasons he had come to think of her that way.

Chuck nodded his agreement, "Oh" Chuck said turning toward Castiel with a finger pointed, "Dean wants to see everybody around one… he's planning a bigger run, he wasn't happy with yesterdays haul." he shrugged.

Castiel chuckled again, irritated, "Of course he wasn't… where is he dragging us off to this time?"

"I dunno but, it would have to be pretty far out of our safe zone there isn't much left here." The man said shaking his head nervously.

Castiel bent and picked a fresh bottle out of one of the boxes and handed it to Chuck, then reached for his own half drunk bottle of whiskey, "There isn't much left anywhere." he mumbled before bringing the bottle to his lips.

XXX

Later in the day, after Castiel had found something to pass for breakfast, and he had changed out of his old and beaten blue jeans and t-shirt into another, cleaner pair of old and beaten jeans and a t-shirt, he sat cross legged at the foot of the bed and watched Molly.

The memory of the dream came back to him and he inched closer to her. After staring at her a while he got up and went to the chest where he had hidden the map. He looked at it with confusion as he unfolded it, but there it was, clear as day, the map with the route to the encampment marked in red. Written beside it, in his own handwriting a small note.

M-

You will find me here when it's time. -C

He had no knowledge of the map or the note but, it was undeniable. This was his handwriting, this was his map, he even initialed it.

Even more perplexing were the symbols on her hips. Alone in his cabin, and semi sober he could consider them properly, what they were and what their presence could mean.

The markings where more than just symbols, they were signatures of a sort. The marks of angels. The specific marks of specific angels. The one on her right hip was that of Maltiel, his friend, for most of his existence in heaven, his confidant and the first creature who had ever caused him to feel love and sorrow. This mark was part of this woman's body… she was born with it, leading him to wonder if Maltiel was born into this woman, in truth it led him to hope she had been. Maltiel had been banished, or so he thought, felt… she didn't see it that way at the time, but he was angry and he saw it no other way… now he wasn't sure.

He turned his attention to the other mark, this one was as baffling to him as the map. This mark had been seared into her flesh and done recently by the looks of it. It was his mark… He had never marked a human in this manner he was certain… not in this way. It was recent but, he no longer possessed the power to do so and hadn't for several years.

His head hurt again just thinking about it, it simply wasn't possible. Again he felt the ache for home, for his true self. He had spent most of the last few years drowning that pain in pills, liquor and women and now, with Molly's presence, none of those things seemed effective. Just who the hell was she, he wondered?


	4. Chapter 3

Mild confusing smut lol

a few more bits all hell should break loose next chap this one might be kind of boring but it was needed i think.

FEEDBACK please.

xox

ep

**Chapter 3**

**Confessions**

"Staring at her won't wake her any sooner." Castiel jumped, startled at the sound of Doc's voice behind him.

"I didn't hear you come in." Castiel answered.

"Jumpy aren't we?" the Doc questioned teasingly.

"I wasn't expecting anyone." he explained, sounding distracted.

"I knocked… you didn't answer." she continued. "I wanted to make sure you were alright… You haven't exactly been yourself since she arrived." Doc told him, nodding toward Molly lying on the bed.

"I'm fine." he said looking the doctor in the eye.

"Well that's debatable." she chuckled, scrutinizing the man before her with his glassy, bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, and his general scruffy appearance. "… and you are aware half of the women in camp are ready to neuter you since she's arrived… And now you've missed Deans pow wow… he's not happy either.

Castiel snorted at the remark, "I'm sure they'll get over it and he will too."

"So you want to tell me what's really going on here?" she asked, looking around the former angels small cabin. For all of his new found moral short comings, the place was usually spotless, neat, well organized. In the last 24 hours that had changed. The contents of Molly's bags were spread all over the floor and piled on the few furnishings. His boxes of personal supplies were also half unpacked, half strewn across the floor and counters of the small kitchen. The only constant was the empty liquor bottles, and even those now littered the floor.

"Nothing to be concerned about." he told her.

"Who is she Castiel? Don't feed me any bullshit. I may be old but I'm not stupid… I know you know something." she pressed, picking up an empty bottle of whiskey from the floor and shaking it slowly in front of him. "Something you are trying awfully hard to drown."

Castiel looked hard at Lilly, she was astute and not easily fooled, he should have known she'd be the one to guess he was hiding something the previous night. He wanted to tell her… to tell someone, he just wasn't sure he could trust her.

"I'm far older than you Lilly… and far more stupid." he sighed returning his attention to Molly once again.

"But you know her… who she is?" she continued to press.

"No… Yes… I'm not sure.." he answered."

"Let's start with what you do know." Doc offered.

"Is she going to wake up?" He questioned, ignoring her response.

"I thought so… but… I don't know Castiel." she told him honestly. "I need to understand more about her, before I can answer that."

"I don't think I can help you." he said standing to walk to the kitchen in search of a fresh bottle. When he returned he found Lilly leaning over Molly studying the marks on her hips.

"What are these Castiel?"

"I told you." he answered taking a pull from the bottle of amber liquid. "marks of angels."

"What do they mean?"

He shrugged.

Doc stood and yanked the bottle out of his hand. "Dammit Castiel!" she snapped "If you want to save her you will tell me what they mean!"

Castile laughed and looked away despondently. "Knowing won't save her." He informed the doctor.

"What do they mean?" She insisted.

"They are the marks that Identify an angel. Two in this case." He answered with a sigh, then reached to take back his whiskey bottle, pulling it from her hand.

"You mean like a name… Or a calling card?"

"Yes. Exactly." he told her.

"Why would she carry such marks?"

"I don't know." he grumbled not wanting to continue the conversation.

"I don't believe you." she told him narrowing her eyes.

"Well you should." he snapped. "I know what they are, I know whose they are, but I cannot explain why they are there or how they got there." he hissed. He was losing patience with the doctor, and his frustration with the situation was showing.

Doc looked at him and nodded. "Fine.. Who made these marks?"

Castiel again looked away and laughed sarcastically. "Knowing will only confuse the issue." he sighed.

"Try me."

"The birthmark, is the mark of Maltiel." He told her.

"Who?" the doctor started to ask but was cut off by further explanation.

"Maltiel…" he went on his voice low, quiet, seeming to search for the words "She was… A soldier… like me, only she didn't bring the end of a matter, she was meant to herald the beginning."

Doc looked at him confused.

"Angels don't… or didn't just destroy things…. evil… or whatever… Many times that destruction led to a fresh start and sometimes it was our job to help rebuild. To help humanity start over or start at all." he explained. "Maltiel while fierce… her presence in battle assured a new beginning… ensured hope.

"Like when you saved Dean… you gave him a second chance?" she questioned.

"Sort of… yeah" he agreed.

"Was Maltiel there… when you saved Dean?"

"No, she had been gone for many mortal years by then."

"She?" Doc questioned. "Gone?"

"Yes, Maltiel, was… is.. Feminine." he told her, nodding at Molly.

"Where did she go?"

"She was sent to here.. to earth, to live with the humans, to teach them or save them… or something… I was never certain. Until yesterday I thought she had been punished… now I'm not so sure."

"Punished? Why would she be punished?"

"Because I loved her." He confessed.

"But I thought angels didn't?-" she was cut off again.

Castiel laughed softly, "Angels don't have the freedom to fall in love… However I assure you, we have the ability."

"…And it is a crime?"

"Yes.. To love another… to feel… anything but obedience."

"Did she love you in return?" Doc asked him gently.

"Yes… it is why she left heaven willingly… or I thought that was her reason."

"The mark… Castiel is this woman Maltiel?"

"I do not know."

Doc nodded, having gained a small degree of understanding as to why the former angel reacted so strangely to the woman.

"The other mark?" she questioned.

Castiel shook his head. "This one is even more confounding."

"How so?"

"Because I don't know how it got there." he said looking at the doctor.

"It looks like a brand." Doc commented.

"The process is similar, but I…." he trailed off. "the process is really not important…" he sighed trying to maintain his focus.

"Who left this mark on her Castiel?" Doc asked in an insistent tone again.

Castiel took a deep breath and looked away toward the wall and then down at Molly, before turning his attention back to the doctor.

"I did." he answered. "Or it is my mark anyway."

XXX

Castiel spent most of the rest of the day at the deep end of his whiskey bottle and when he felt his self start to float too close the surface he would dig deep into his pocket for the bottle of pills that was certain to weigh him down further.

Once Doc's questions where satisfied he took himself to the porch of his cabin and propped himself in a chair. For a long while he lounged back and watch the encampment, the people, the survivors, what ever they were. They were trying to rebuild but, even the most optimistic were beginning to see it was a pointless endeavor. There was nothing left to rebuild.

He was left alone, for the most part. The occasional wave would come from a passer by and he received more than a few glares and stares from the women who were once his most enthusiastic supporters. Word traveled fast and Tina or Tammy or Tara or what ever her name was obviously wasted no time spreading the news there was some competition in his cabin. This thought caused a wry chuckle to rise in his throat… As if pregnant and unconscious were some new kink to be added to his repertoire. What had he become?

Then there was Dean who was obviously still pissed he hadn't bothered to make it to his cabin to strategize their next plan of attack on the now barren grocery stores and pharmacies of the world. Pointless all pointless.

Chuck stopped by long enough to inform him that Sam was expected back later that evening and they were hopeful he would have a nice haul and several more mouths to feed.

Yes, Sam had said 'no' but still… it wasn't enough for the guy. Once they established the camp, he set out with his own small crew traveling the country looking for survivors and supplies. It was obvious he was driven by guilt and blame… Even if everyone else was long past feeling such things, he would never truly forgive himself Castiel knew. He would drag himself half way across the country on just the hint of a rumor there might be someone there to bring back to the relative safety of the camp.

All of these thoughts brought Castiel back to the woman in his bed. Molly… Maltiel… Was she? Could she really be Maltiel? He was afraid to hope such a thing, but if she were, could she still love him, now after his failures, after what he had become.

XXX

"_I understand now." He whispered into her ear, has he pressed her against the wall with his body, his hands tracing her curves over her clothing. It was true he did understand, the moment she stepped from the car, he understood who was she was and why he was there. _

"_I don't." she croaked out as his lips blazed a trail down her neck, towards her shoulder._

_His head rose to meet hers and his lips covered hers forcefully. "You will… in time… I promise." he said soothingly and the kiss grew more passionate. She didn't fight it, she may not have understood who he was, who they were but, she gave her self to him completely._

_His fingers adeptly removed her clothing and he gently lay her back. Her skin was electric against his own and for brief flashes he could see the recognition in her eyes. "Yes my love… you know me... It's almost our time." he whispered to her reassuringly as his mouth traced the curves of her body relishing, the feel and the taste of her skin, satisfying thousands of years of desire. Her legs wrapped around him, welcoming him inside and his mind and body swam with ecstasy for the next few hours he would explore her, and she him, while their minds and bodies twisted together, beginning to turn the tumblers on a long forgotten lock._

"_Who are you?" she asked._

"_Shhhh… You know me…" he said soothingly again and stroked her hair lovingly. "…it will come to you in time… our time."_

"_I don't understand." she said. _

_He chuckled softly. " You will."_

"_You're leaving?"_

"_I must…" he said sadly… "Ive been assured you can travel this part of the journey alone… I will be waiting on the other side… I promise…"_

"_Waiting?" she questioned._

"_When the time comes…" he said as he laid the map on the table next to the bed._

_She looked at him confused._

"_Sleep now." he kissed her forehead_

Castiel tossed his head, wishing to stay inside the dream, but something was pulling him out. A sound a mewing, a movement. His eyes opened and he pulled himself to awareness. Something next to him was moving, talking.. No moaning… Awake… It was Molly… She was awake

XXX


	5. Chapter 4

Mild smut again. Sorry i know everyone wants a full blow out knock your socks off smutfest. and I promise there is one coming.. but not quite yet lol.

Hope this make sense to someone besides myself. lol this is the last chap for a little while i have about a weeks work to get done in the real world so i will be spending the next week trying to finish that up. I also have to work a little on the novel. I am thinking of posting the odd chapter of it on a blog somewhere now and then just to get feed back. let me know (pm) If you would be interested in reading.

Enjoy

FeedBack

xox

EP

Chapter 4

Things Remembered

_The dark blue SUV chugged and lurched just before the engine died. She was lucky enough to bring it to a stop in front of the long forgotten laundry mat, given the state of the planet in general, that fact shouldn't have made her feel any more secure, but somehow it did._

"_Shit" she cursed, pushing her long dark hair out of her face and looking out the windshield at the rain… hearing the thunder crash around her wasn't soothing either. She shook her head feeling silly, she was little more than a mile inside the safe zone, thunder was the last thing she should be afraid of. She looked up and that is when she saw the man standing outside her drivers side window. Five years ago she would have thought he was a homeless drifter by his appearance, now… Just about everyone looked like a homeless drifter, because… Just about everyone was a homeless drifter._

_He motioned his hand for her to roll down the window and she had to make a choice… not that she really had one, she was four miles from home, and she didn't know the first thing about fixing the SUV. She was inside what was considered the safe zone although just… she relented and rolled down the window. _

"_Looks like you're stuck." the man observed with a nod._

"_Can you fix it?" she asked, looking at him questioningly, still uncertain of his motives, and positive she sounded like a victim… one of those damsels in distress she hated in the movies… when there were movies._

_He looked at her strangely as if he knew her, or should. "I can try."_

_It seemed all the SUV needed was a touch from the mystery man and it came to life again. "Strange" she said, getting out of the car to thank him._

_He shrugged and looked at her with an expression she couldn't quite place._

"_You're new here?"_

"_Passing through." he responded, never taking his eyes off of her. _

"_Do you have somewhere to stay?"_

_He shook his head._

"_C'mon.." She nodded, toward the car and he didn't argue._

_She drove him into the center of town and came to a stop in front of a rundown apartment building._

"_Home sweet home." she grumbled and nodded towards the building. "Come inside… I can get you some dry clothes and maybe some new boots." she said looking down at his wet feet. "My father is a Doctor, if you need one, and best of all we have food." she smiled at him. She slung the strap of her tote over her shoulder and got out._

_He released a small chuckle, "Thank you." and then followed her into the apartment building and up the stairs. As they came to the top of the third floor stairwell she instructed him to stop and wait. He watched as she walked ahead and opened one of the doors on the left side of the hall and went in. A few moments later she came out and then motioned for him to follow her to the room across the hall from the one she had just exited._

_Once inside she struck a match and began to light candles until the room was dimly lit and then she went into another room. He took the opportunity to look around the room, an unmade bed and a few small tables and chests seemed to be the extent of it, that and books, more than he could count. _

"_These should fit… once you are dry." she said, re-entering the room and tossing fresh clothing on the bed and then extending a hand with a towel to him. He took it from her, thanked her again and she helped to pull off his coat. "Are you hungry?" She asked hanging is wet jacket over a chair , taking a moment to study him, tall and scruffy, in dire need of a shave and a hair cut or a comb at the very least, yet, almost beautiful despite it all._

"_No" he shook his head._

_She looked at him disbelievingly.. "You have to be.. don't be polite the one thing we have right now is food."_

_He closed his eyes and sighed, "I promise I am not hungry Molly,"_

"_How?"_

"_Did I know your name?" he finished her sentence, lowing his eyes realizing his blunder._

_She nodded, looking at him trying to once again discern the expression he had been wearing since they met. It was something akin to a little boy who just found out Santa really did exist after all, she decided. _

"_Do you know me?" she asked point blank surprised by her own lack of panic given the situation._

"_Better than you know yourself." he replied softly moving towards her._

_She nodded and took another step towards him, she wasn't sure why, this was most definitely strange and she didn't know him… did she? She moved closer anyway, something else driving her actions, something she had ignored most of her life.._

"_Don't be afraid." he said his voice soothing… and she wasn't… was she?_

"_I..I.." she stammered as she allowed him to back her against the wall. Her hands automatically tugging at his damp t-shirt lifting it over his head._

"_Shhhhh." it's alright… I will never harm you," he whispered, as his lips gently brushed across hers, the sensation magnificent in it's simplicity. She looked up into his eyes and was taken aback… it wasn't just the shocking blue of them it was what lay deeper, something else something familiar… _

_He ducked his head to her neck and she fought the urge to sag into his arms as she felt his hands caress her._

"_I understand now." He whispered into her ear, as he pressed her against the wall with his body, his hands tracing her curves over her clothing. _

XXX

Castiel knelt over Molly's body, he was repeating her name firmly and loudly but, it didn't seem to help. Her back was arched and she was gasping. He could see the pulse of her throat thundering fast… too fast. He stood and ran to his door, looking out side, he yelled to the first person he saw to "GET DOC NOW!" and then returned to the bed.

Doc arrived a few minutes later with Chuck and Dean in tow. "What happened?" she asked

"I woke up and she was moving… mumbling." Castiel explained "… and then this." he said nodding Molly who seemed to be in pain and gasping. "Please.. Help her." he said almost desperately.

"I don't know what is happening to her to help her Castiel." she replied seeming confused.

Castiel sat next to her on the bed, his dream still fresh in his mind, he couldn't shake the feeling that he knew this woman, somehow he knew her… had spent a night with her, the dream was not just a dream, but a memory, of something he didn't do, couldn't have done. It was a crazy idea, and again he blamed his intoxicated mind. It didn't change the fact that he felt a great deal for her, it didn't change the fact that he would do anything necessary to see to it she survived. He placed a hand on her cheek she was warm. Molly he spoke softly and at first she seemed to relax a bit. Then he said the only thing he could, the only thing that made any sense, even though it made no sense at all.

"I'm waiting Maltiel come back to me." he whispered.

XXX

"_I don't." she croaked out as his lips blazed a trail down her neck, towards her shoulder._

_His head rose to meet hers and his lips covered hers forcefully. "You will… in time… I promise." he said soothingly and the kiss grew more passionate. She didn't fight it, she had no idea who he was or why he was there and yet she seemed to understand it all… something inside of her understood._

_His fingers adeptly removed her clothing and he gently lay her back. His mouth playing over her bare skin as her fingers stroked his flesh. He was so familiar and touched her far deeper than just her skin, just her body. The familiarity she saw deep in his eyes more apparent now and she almost remembered him… another time… another place. By the time she wrapped him in her arms and legs she had no doubt he spoke the truth, he knew her better than she knew herself and she knew she had been waiting for him, like this, for a very longtime. _

XXX

"Maltiel? What the hell is he talking about?" Dean questioned looking at Doc.

"Shhh" she hushed the hunter and watched intently.

"Maltiel is an angel." Chuck informed his voice low.

"How do you know?" Dean asked

He shrugged "I just do… I never know how I know anything."

"So you're telling me what we have here is a pregnant angel?" Dean asked incredulous.

"Shhhh" Doc quieted him again. "If you don't shut up we may have a dead pregnant angel."

"You knew about this?" he pressed the doctor.

"Dean please." this time the request came from Castiel.

"She seems more stable" Doc said taking a moment to check her vital signs as best she could given the circumstances.

Castiel nodded. "I think she is remembering."

"Remembering what?" Dean asked.

"I dunno… many things." Castiel answered… "She has caused me to remember things that have yet to happen."

"You mean like the future?" Dean asked confused.

"Exactly," he answered then shushed the group again.

"She's stable, let's leave them alone." Doc suggested and led both Dean and Chuck to the front porch.

Once on the porch Dean's curiosity could not be contained. "Okay Lilly tell me what you know." he insisted.

"Well that won't take long because it isn't much." she quipped.

"You knew that woman in there was an angel."

"I know Castiel thinks she may be."

Dean rolled his eyes, "What else?"

"That's about it."

Dean sighed. "Okay so what is he talking about… remembering the future?"

"I think I know." Chuck chimed in.

"…And.. Enlighten me" Dean grumbled impatient.

"A premonition." he answered simply.

"So what Cas is psychic now?"

"All things considered.. that would surprise you?" Doc asked.

"No" Dean shook his head, "So you think that's it… our resident handicapped angel is now psychic."

Doc considered the question, "No I don't think it is that simple."

"Why?"

The doctor shrugged, "I just don't"

"You know something else don't you?" Dean questioned.

"I know he left his mark on her body, somehow before she came here, before he ever laid eyes on the woman…"

"How is that possible?" Dean asked, running a hand through spiky hair, more confused than ever.

"I don't know…. But, I believe he was staking his claim." she said matter of fact.

"Like his property?" Dean asked confused.

"Like his lover." Doc corrected.

XXX

_He sank down on top of her and then slowly and deeply inside. The moan of long awaited satisfaction was mutual as their mouths clashed together almost violently. Their bodies thrashed together in a perfect rhythm and her hips met his thrust for thrust. For the moment she knew everything there was to know about him and she loved him a way that was beyond time. _

"_Why do I feel like I know you." she questioned as she lay in his arms afterward._

"_Because you do…" he answered simply, drawing her closer._

"_I wish I understood.." she sighed._

_He chuckled, "You don't remember this… but I said those same words to you."_

"…_. and what did I say?"_

"_You told me I would understand when I was meant to."_

_She huffed "… And will I? "_

"_Yes… just as I have told you."_

"_When?"_

"_Patience my love… it will be worth the wait."_

_XXX_

Castiel watched helplessly as Molly's breathing and pulse quickened once more. He thought of calling Doc back into the cabin but decided against it.

Just as he was about to give in and call for Doc, Molly calmed, and her eyes opened. Castiel was leaning over her close to her face.

He looked at her wide eyed not sure what to do or say at first until he saw the familiar flicker deep inside her eyes.

"Maltiel" he whispered, his voice a combination of joy, relief and trepidation, as he reached to touch her face.

"Yes… Castiel." she whispered, and tried to sit up.

"Easy… You've been unconscious a few days and you're weak... Human." he told her caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"No… I think I'm okay… and of course I'm human… And occupied." she smiled rubbing her belly.

"Yes.." he nodded, then looked away. "You should rest and let me get Doc."

"What's wrong Castiel?" she said grabbing his arm, before he could leave.

"Nothing." he replied, still looking away.

"You aren't happy I've found you?"

"Yes… of course… I had given up… I thought you had been lost… Of course I am happy you are here… but Doc should have a look at you."

"It's the baby then? It upsets you?" she questioned.

"Of course not" he said flatly, still not looking at her, he was reminded of just how easily she was able to read him. "A child at this point in history can only be a good omen."

"But… you are jealous aren't you?" she giggled and tried to sit again, this time taking his arm and pulling herself up.

"Of the child? No.. Maltiel you know better than that." he scolded, this time he looked at her.

"Of the father…." she corrected.

He again looked away.

She giggled.

"I fail to see the humor." he sighed, relenting, she knew him too well and she would not let the subject drop until she was satisfied with his answers.

"You haven't caught up…"

Castiel looked at her confused.

"The dreams? Have you had the dreams?"

He nodded, then cocked his head. "They are real?"

"Uh huh" she smiled coyly.

"I did this?" he questioned, looking at her swollen abdomen.

"Of course… silly angel… who else?" she grinned and held a hand up to stroke his scruffy cheek. "I told you I was coming here for you as much as for them."

"I…I.. truly thought you were dead Maltiel… I thought I was the only one left." he said his eyes both pained and relieved.

"Shhhh I would never leave you behind in the battle Castiel." she soothed, cupping his chin and stroking his cheek gently with her thumb.

His face drew closer to hers and allowed her to hold his head against hers.

"30 years was not too long to wait… was it?" she teased.

"Thirty four." he corrected, "It was 34 years."

"You counted?"

"The minutes" he replied as he finally pressed his lips to hers… and this time he planned to remember.

XXX


	6. Chapter 5

_Call it a bonus. lol. I had started this last week figuring i would finish it at the end of this week once things calmed down but decided to finish it while at the lake today. this should tie up a lot off lose ends and get us ready for the next part hope it makes sense and hope you enjoy_

_Feed back_

_EP_

_XOX _

Chapter 5

Full Circle

The kiss was not only one Castiel planned to remember, but he felt sure it was one he would never forget. As he slowly pressed his lips to Maltiel's welcoming mouth, he was carried away, lost deep in the memory of their last meeting in heaven. He saw her in her true form quite clearly and could feel the jumble of emotions, exceedingly present, emotions he worked so hard to suppress for so very many years in heaven, and tried even harder to forget on earth, lest he shirk his duties and seek her out. When the vision passed, and he came back to the present. His mouth was devouring hers and he found his arms tightly around her whilst his hands and fingers wove through the long tresses of her dark hair. He reluctantly pulled away from her lips and nudged her nose with is own causing her to look up at him and smile. He looked deeply into her eyes, the same eyes he had so often wondered about the color of while she slept, they were, without doubt the same eyes that had driven him to near disobedience in heaven. They were brown, the deep rich smooth brown of chocolate, and just as sweet, he decided.

"I don't know what I have been doing the last few years…. But after that… I am pretty sure I've been doing it wrong." he told her in a breathless chuckle.

"It is the past meeting the present, there will be many more memories revealed, and plenty of time to practice for the future.." she returned his chuckle with her own.

"I saw…" he started

"The last time we were together in Heaven." she finished.

"Yes." he nodded.

"I never wanted to leave you…" she whispered pressing her forehead against his, bringing her hand to his neck and stroking his unkempt jaw line with her thumb.

He nodded his understanding.

"This was the only way for us to be together… Castiel… I had to say yes… I had to agree… But… I couldn't tell you. They were clear you had to find me on your own. If we were going to love as humans love, then we must understand what love truly means…. I didn't even remember until, the last time you came to visit me."

"But I didn't find you…" he said frustrated.

"Yes you did, In 3 years this period of uncertainty is going to end, and the world, is going to change Castiel. Our child is the key to humanity's survival."

"How?" He asked confused looking down at her belly.

"I don't know… you never told me… You came back 3 years for me… Once you understood what needed to be done, but… you never told me much… and I didn't remember you anyway, I just knew loved you and had for a very long time… I honestly thought I had lost my mind." she laughed.

Castiel pressed his lips to hers again. "Well they were right… I do love you…" he told her, "I always have." he whispered into her ear.

"And I have always loved you… It's why I did all of this." she whispered back to him, placing his hand her stomach.

"While I did nothing but try to forget…" he hung his head

"But you didn't Castiel, you've done.. Will do so much more to find me." she said moving her hand to her swollen stomach.

"I wish I remembered." he whispered.

"You will."

XXX

"Let me get this straight? That baby is yours?" Dean asked as he paced the length of the porch of Castiel's cabin.

Castiel had joined Dean on the porch when Doc went inside to examine Molly, as she decided to be called.

"Yes" the former angel shrugged, seeming equally confused.

"How?" Dean asked as he stopped moving, sinking hands into his pocket.

Castel walked to the banister and leant out over it, looking up at the stars in the dark sky. "I only know what she has told me and the dreams have shown me."

"And you're sure she's for real.. I mean you're sure she is this angel… what you call her… Maltiel?"

"Yes I am sure." Castiel nodded with a small smile and a slight blush.

"And you were in love with her… all those years? Funny you never mentioned it."

"I.. I thought she was gone.. Or possibly even dead…" he said with a sigh, "She left Heaven with no solid explanation. I had no idea… what it meant."

"Well yeah I guess it's understandable. But… are you sure we can trust her?"

"I'm sure…"

"Then why now… if she can save the world, why did she wait until now… Until this? Dean asked sounding irritated.

"Dean she isn't the cause of this… The world, hell the universe… there is no good or evil any more… there is no balance. She couldn't come until I found her… 'If we're going to love each other as humans love, then we have to understand the true meaning of love.' That is what she said."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I think it means that love is not about indulgence but… sacrifice."

"Well you know all about indulgence, that's for sure." Dean quipped.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Obviously that was part of the problem. Possibly why I didn't find her... Why I had to go back."

"But you didn't find her she found you."

"I don't know the details but, at some point in the future it must become clear to me she is alive… And I look for her."

"Yeah I don't get that. Haven't you changed the future?"

"Yes… I can only hope it is for the better."

"So what? In three years we have to do this again?

"No it doesn't work that way. Hopefully whatever happens in the future that causes me to travel back… is now averted."

Dean nodded, "Makes sense… I guess but…" his voice trailed off and he shook his head.

"Believe me I understand your confusion." Castiel chuckled and reached into the cooler on his porch for a beer.

Dean reached in and took a beer for himself and popped the top. "So how did she get here now, if you found her what… six months ago and… well… you obviously left an impression… why didn't you take her with you… or at least send her here then?"

"I don't know the details… I assume because her father was a Doctor, and she was well taken care of, that was the best place… At least until…." Castiel sipped from his beer and seemed to be lost in thought.

XXX

"_Molly you have to leave." Castiel's voice was pleading yet somehow firm and unyielding at the same time._

"_He's coming back… I will leave as soon as he does." she responded holding her ground._

_He moved closer to her and took her in his arms. "But he's not Molly… it's time. You have to go now… you should have gone days ago."_

"_No! He's coming back." she argued reminding him more of a child than a grown woman._

"_Your father is gone… in your heart you know that…." He told her holding her in the safety of his arms._

"_No.." she cried against his shoulder._

"_You have to leave now." he told her again._

"_I thought you couldn't come back?"_

"_I shouldn't, I weaken with each trip. I may not make it back this time."_

_She shook her head. "Then stay.. Here with me."_

"_Molly… If I stay with you we will only have a little while. If you go and let me find you… we will have eternity."_

"_I don't understand." She said frustrated._

"_What will happen to you if you can't go back?"_

'"_It doesn't matter… I'm waiting on you right now. Go so I can find you."_

_She shook her head._

"_Maybe it's time you understood." he said with a sigh, looking down at her and lifting her chin with his finger. "You always were stubborn." he chuckled._

_With that he lowered his head and kissed her deeply, and as he did her mind exploded with the memories of her past.. Her true past… in heaven… with him._

_She woke up an hour later, Castiel was nowhere to be found in the apartment, the only hint that he had been there at all was the two packed duffle bags at the foot of the bed and the map setting on top of them._

XXX

Molly was standing on the front porch of the cabin, dressed in jeans and a loose fitting sweatshirt, she covered her shoulders with a small blanket. It had been a little more than a week since she arrived at the encampment and while Castiel had rarely let her out of her sight for the first few days it was obvious he was needed by Dean for strategizing and on supply runs.

"I'm fine and you need to get back to normal." she told him once she was feeling sure of herself.

"I don't like leaving you in your condition." he protested.

"Doc says both the baby and I are just fine… No worries."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "Three days is too long." he grumbled pouring water in a mug for tea.

"You are going to have to leave me alone eventually. It's better now than in another few months." she reasoned. as she accepted the mug of tea he handed to her.

He sighed and bent to kiss her. "Okay.. I don't like it… but okay." he said.

Now Molly stood on the porch waiting for his return. It was mid November and more than a little chilly as the sun went down and she shivered slightly even with the warm clothes and blanket.

"How you feeling?" she head Doc's voice call to her as the older woman climbed the stairs to the porch.

"I'm okay." Molly answered returning the woman's smile.

"Good… They aren't back yet huh?"

"Not yet." Molly sighed.

"He'll be here soon… Don't worry." Doc assured her.

Molly nodded. "So you came just to remind me not to worry?" she laughed.

"Not exactly. I've finished looking at all that blood I took the other day." she told her.

"And?"

"Well, the equipment I have is outdated and limited but… You're perfect." she said

Molly chuckled. "I told you.. I've never even had a cold… My father said he thought I was immune to most everything… but.. I think he was kidding." She said as she turned to sit with the doctor on the wooden chairs on the porch.

"He might have been Molly, but… I think he was right."

Molly shrugged, "Considering, what I am… are you really surprised?"

"I don't know.. I only Have Cass to compare you to… and I know he can get sick and hurt.. break bones."

"But we are different, he is an angel in a human vessel… I am an angel reborn human. I don't know what that means but, I assume it would make us different."

"Maybe." Doc considered.

"Cass is in a vessel… So without power he is at the mercy of his human body." Doc said.

"Yes." Molly nodded, "With is power intact the body would be in a constant state of repair. With out it… the body is human with all the frailties that come with it."

"… And as an angel.. I assume you don't get sick?" Doc asked.

"We can get hurt and even die, although usually this would be in battle with weapons designed to harm an angel… I am not aware of an illness the effects angels."

Doc nodded. "Based on your blood… I would assume that still remains true with you."

"But… I was unconscious for days after the accident." Molly pointed out.

"But when you woke you were completely recovered, you didn't even have a bump on your head."

Molly nodded.

"You may heal a little slower but… You are not entirely human in that respect." She explained.

Molly could only nod again. "… And the baby?" She asked after considering things a while.

"I don't know… But this child will be medically interesting to me."

Molly was mulling over the new information when the small convoy of vehicles began to pull into the encampment. Molly once again stood and moved to the banister watching the trucks pull in and park he smile grew as she watched Castiel slide out of his truck.

Castiel looked up to the porch and smiled to see Molly standing and waiting. Although he had felt assured that she was fine, he couldn't help but worry about her while he was away. He moved towards his cabin taking the steps two at a time until he reached Molly who was waiting at the top of the stairs.

"I've missed you." she said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Me too." he grinned down at her. Noticing Doc sitting in the chair he looked at her and then back to Molly. "Everything okay?" he questioned with slight concern, walking further onto the porch.

"Perfect." Molly said

"I just came to give her the all clear." Doc told him with a wink. "Her blood was fine and physically she is perfect. No more restrictions, just lots of rest until the baby comes."

"And the baby?" he asked.

"Fine too." Doc assured him.

He bent and kissed her again.

"Hey" Dean called from the parking area. "You gonna smooch all day or are we gonna unload while we still have some light." he complained.

Castiel shot a glance at him and held up one finger.

"Go on inside and get warm." he instructed Molly. "I wont be long…and I have a surprise." he grinned.


	7. Chapter 6

Yay i'm back! This is a little shorter than usual but it covers the bases and was a good stopping point. Hope you enjoy and FEED BACK please i need the kick in the ass. Been busy working on the novel and the website for it but i should have more time to keep up with all my fics now that school is done for the year and I am not chasing kids in so many directions.

xox

EP

Chapter 6

Old Habits Die Hard

"Is she really okay?" Castiel asked Doc, while lifting boxes from the back of his truck and stacking them on the ground just behind.

"Perfect." she responded watching him work.

"Well then why are you here?" he questioned moving to the white panel van parked next to him. He and the others were unloading the haul, trying to get done before sunset.

"What? You don't like my company Castiel?" Doc joked.

Castiel chuckled and looked Lilly in the eye. "Of course I do Lilly. But I'm powerless not brainless and I know you didn't come down here just to watch me unload trucks."

"Okay you're right." she told him, "I wanted to check on you as well." she confessed.

"Uh huh" he grunted dropping another large box on the ground. "I'm fine… Better than fine." he said and reached to take another box off of the van.

"… And the drinking?" She asked warily

"Much less."

"But you haven't quit." she persisted.

He stopped working and sighed. "I like a beer, it's not a big deal" he defended. "Lilly if you are asking me if I still feel the need to numb myself… The answer is no."

"All of this since Molly's come to town?" she questioned suspiciously.

"Not exactly," he answered wiping his hands on his jeans before scratching his scruffy unshaven chin, then looking at Doc. " I don't want to forget anymore." he shrugged, " I almost forgot her, why I was here, what this was about." he said looking away and shaking his head, before looking back to Doc. "I am what I am and her coming proves we have a future… Me, you… them." he said nodding to the camp"…if I can keep my head outta my ass long enough to reach it. This might just work out okay."

Doc snorted out a laugh and a nod. "You might be doing better than I thought." she confessed.

"I told you… I'm fine."

She nodded and started to turn away and then looked back at him. "You love her?" she asked.

"Since before there was time to measure." he answered.

XXX

When Castiel entered the cabin an hour or so later it was dark, save a few candles that were lit to help him find his way. He noticed it was chilly as well and turned his attention to the woodstove that heated the place. After feeding it a few more logs he looked around for Molly. He found her on the bed asleep. He smiled looking at her, she had come in and apparently changed clothes. Trading the over sized sweatshirt and jeans for sweat pants and a t-shirt that did nothing to hide her expanding belly. It looked to him as though she was lying in bed reading and fell asleep. The open book was still in her hand. He didn't want to wake her but, he could do little to control the urge to touch her. He leant his face to hers and gently brushes his lip across her cheek and then nuzzled his face into her neck and hair taking in her scent.

It was amazing to him, and he soaked up the smell of her recent shower. Even with toiletries in such short supply she managed to smell sweet and wonderful. He pulled his face back and she turned to her back and looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "I didn't mean to wake you." he said softly looking down at her.

"I wanted you to." she smiled up at him, her voice slurring still sleepy.

"I missed you.. I shouldn't have gone so soon after finding you." he said.

Molly smiled at him again and then winced, bringing a hand to her side.

"What's wrong?" Castiel questioned his smile replaced with a grimace of concern.

"Shh" Molly said and stroked his cheek with one hand while reaching for his hand with the other and sliding it over her belly. The smile returned to his face as he felt the squirming going on just under the skin on her belly, then finally a very hard thump against his palm.

"Wow!" he said his eyes wide. "Doesn't that hurt?" he questioned bemused.

"It is annoying yet, strangely comforting." she explained and started to sit up.

He nodded and gave her a small laugh as he followed the squirming sensation across her belly with his hand. "Don't get up." he told her when she started to move. "I've been on the road three days, I need a shower, I'll wake you when I get back in." He said leaning to kiss her.

XXX

Castiel gathered clean clothes, a towel and a few personal items and headed out the door of the cabin. Most everyone in camp used a community bath house as it would be impossible to supply a generator to every cabin and camp many didn't even have running water at all. For himself he never minded, hell he never really cared, but now that Molly was with him and a baby was on the way he intended to remedy the situation. Part of her surprise was the generator he had brought home. For tonight he was happy to make the short walk for some hot water.

When he arrived he passed a few other men from the camp leaving, clean shaven and smelling better than they had. Most nodded and waved, but said little else, obviously exhausted, hungry and glad to be home even if home wasn't much. "You're late. Better hurry while there is still some hot water." Chuck told him when he met him on the way in the door.

"I needed to see Molly first." He explained

Chuck grinned and nodded, "How is she?"

"Perfect and apparently tired." Castiel told him. "She's sleeping."

"You know word has spread. Everybody is talking. Almost everybody is excited about the baby… they think it might be a sign." Chuck said his eyes wide and a hopeful look on his face.

Castiel nodded, "I think it is too. But for now they both just need some quiet not attention."

Chuck nodded his agreement, scratching his beard nervously, "I think everyone is buying the story Dean told them. I mean, No one suspects she is an angel. Well, except Doc and me and you.. Sam.. Bobby… and Dean of course. Everyone else just thinks she is some woman you met on a run and well… you know.. Ooops." He said with a shrug, "Of course that story doesn't make her real popular with some of the women here…" Chuck trailed off.

Castiel lauged. "Funny how after everything, that is so much easier to believe than the truth would be." he closed his eyes and shook his head feeling somewhat irritated.

"Well Cass, in all fairness… the last few years you haven't exactly been… angelic." Chuck said apologetic.

Castiel nodded again and held up a hand, "I know… It's alright." the told him.

Sensing Castiel's irritation with the direction of the conversation Chuck excused himself. "I should go get dinner, Doc said there is soup in the kitchen, and you should probably well…" Chuck said trailing off and pointing to the shower stalls.

Once chuck left Castiel had the large room to himself. It was one of the few places in the encampment to have both electricity and hot and cold running, it was rare for the building to be so quiet and unused. Grateful for the quiet, he shook off the irritation he had felt after his conversation with Chuck, whatever anyone thought of him was in fact his own fault, besides it did provide the perfect cover for the truth of the situation.

Once he relaxed, a few moments later he found himself inside a shower stall with hot water beating down on him. The last three days had taken a larger toll than he first thought. He could feel the tightness in his neck and shoulder giving way to a deeper aching. He sighed feeling the physical stresses wash away. He closed his eyes and rolled his neck feeling and hearing the 'pop' of the joints there. His mind was on Molly… sleeping, warm in his bed and at the moment he wanted nothing more than to be there with her.

He heard the Bath house door open and then close loudly. He sighed realizing his moment of privacy was about to come to an end. He began to quickly wash himself, with thoughts of heading back to his cabin and snuggling up against Molly pressing at him to hurry up.

It was then he heard a stall door open. His stall door. Before he could turn around he felt lips press to the spot just between his shoulder blades and he heard the familiar giggle.


	8. Chapter 7

**Warning for smut smut smut and double smut. really double smut!**

**That about explains it... hope you enjoy and i really hope it makes sense to you. I need feed back! this was tough to write... not because smut is tough but because... well you will see when you read it lol.**

**enjoy xox**

**ep**

**Chapter 7**

**Then & Now**

When the stall door opened Castiel tensed, the intrusion causing both, instinct and irritation to take over, but the warm lips that grazed is back, familiar laugh and soothing hands that slid over his shoulder blades caused him to quickly relax and then smile.

"I thought you were sleeping." he said with a soft laugh, setting the soap down. The sensation of her mouth trailing across his back was causing his wet skin to tingle with the anticipation of more… So much more.

"I missed you…" she whispered against his flesh, and his breath hitched in his chest when she nipped at his skin with her teeth. Her fingers traced the place where his wings once resided before planting soft kisses. "I've missed you for so long Castiel." she continued. "…and I've wanted you even longer."

He leant his head forward, submitting to his aching need and allowing her fingers and mouth to work the magic only she could on his flesh. "Too long." he breathed out, in agreement, "I have wanted you too long…" his mind and body further responded to her touch. This was the first time she had touched him like this yet… His flesh seemed to remember each and every nuance of her caress, and ache for the next, movement of her fingers, brush of her lips, gentle bite from her teeth, his body somehow remembered and craved each sensation, even if his mind didn't remember.

He turned to face her, taking her in his arms and pulling her close against him, hard and tight, his arms encircled her, his hands stretching to explore each curve. He was aching and feeling heady and she was warm, so warm against him. Her flesh almost too hot to touch, pressed hard up to him… he could barely contain his need. When the wanting took hold and his mouth hovered over hers, His body ached with the memories she provoked in it. "Please" he whispered, into her mouth.

Molly responded to his embrace and his plea by wrapping her arms around his neck and threading fingers through his hair, staring deeply into his eyes seeing the angel she loved not just the man he possessed.

"Yes… It's time to remember Castiel." she whispered against his lips.

He nodded, slowly while their parted lips all but touched. He wanted… needed to remember. It seemed as if his body knew her, responding as if it were starving for her, leaving the rest of him frustrated by the lacking memories of their time together. Memories that were only flashes left behind by the dreams.

Their lips met softly at first. Since she awoke he had kissed her many times, but this kiss was different, similar to the first but more intense. It was charged with something more than electric and more powerful than the simple recollection he felt during the first. He found himself encompassed, almost swallowed by the brilliant light that burst open in his head. The lights of Heaven, he recognized it immediately and for a moment he could feel himself as he truly was meant to be, unencumbered by a human body. But the sensation wasn't the one of happiness or joy most angels would equate with heaven, there was no peace there for him only a longing, anger, frustration and pain. He was reliving a memory… This was the moment he discovered she was gone from heaven forever, the moment that changed everything… changed him.

"_Malitel" he shouted running through the bright corridors. He shouted her name as he ran and searched. She couldn't be gone she simply couldn't be. It wasn't true, she had been by his side since the beginning, she just couldn't be gone. _

"_Castiel" Uriel's voice spoke from somewhere behind him, but he didn't stop searching, instead he continued running and looking for her, checking all of the many rooms and passages where she could hide. His calls were becoming desperate and urgent._

"_Castiel! Stop brother… please. She is gone." Uriels voice sounded again but, he fought to block it out because it just was not true. She was NOT gone he wouldn't believe it._

"_No" he said when he finally stopped and turned to face his fellow angel. "She can not be gone… She is needed here. She belongs here!"_

"_She chose Castiel… she chose them over us… over you." Uriel said his tone cold._

"_No!" he said shaking his head_

"_Yes Castiel you know it is so… Now please brother take hold of yourself before the others see your distress… It is not natural… you don't want to be accused of 'loving her' do you?" Uriel narrowed his fiery eyes at his brother._

The vision and feeling flooded back to him and caused him to respond almost desperately to the woman in his arms. His lips covered Molly's with an urgency he had never felt and he cried out into her mouth, a moan that was more like a sob. The sound was sorrowful and grieving, this feeling unleashed a desire stronger than any he had ever known and it coursed through his human vessel with a burn that was made of pure need.

"Your leaving nearly ended me." he whispered breathlessly into her mouth, as the fingers of one hand worked their way up the back of her neck, tangling in tresses of her long wet hair, holding her in a ever tightening grip against his mouth and a small needful whine next escaped his lips.

"I know." she soothed, her lips pressed to his, her hands stroking his face, as his mouth worked to devour hers. "I was never leaving you love…" she told him, between his kisses and small gentle bites at her lips. Tears from the memory streamed down his face. " But I had no way to make you understand."

He grunted and pressed her to the wall as he was consumed by yet another memory. It was his assignment in hell that gripped his mind this time. After her departure he had changed. He often rushed headlong into duty, into danger. His personal outcome unimportant, whether he lived or died mattered little to him, without her, he was simply a soldier and he lived as such. He was never reckless but, self sacrifice was no longer a concern either. Until today… if he won today he would be earthbound… he wanted… no needed to be earthbound. He had to find the man and take him to earth… She was on earth somewhere and he secretly prayed she was waiting.

_He forced his way forward through the dank and dark passages of hell. The air thick with the smell of sulfur, rotting blood and burning flesh. His ears rang from the sound of the screams, and mournful moans. Still with his sword in hand and his steely determination in his only true companion since her leave of heaven, he trudged on. There were others with him but, he paid them little mind… he preferred to work alone._

_Uriel reached out and grabbed his shoulder "This way." he said nodding to the left._

"_No." he shook his head "The passageway to the right is the most direct route."_

"_It is the most foolish. Smell for yourself… it is overflowing with demons." Uriel argued, making a disgusted face._

"_The number of demons will be of little concern when I reach earth." he said determined, before breaking away from the rest of the Garrison._

"_She is not worth this risk Castiel" Uriel warned him in a whisper as he turned his back and treaded down the corridor alone._

This memory exhilarated him and he ran adept fingers lower on her body covering the span of her swollen waist landing on then grabbing her hips bringing them tight against his own.

"I wanted you there." he murmured. "By my side. Where you had always been… where you belong." he continued burying his face into her neck, nuzzling and sucking at her sweet welcoming flesh.

"You did well without me." she told him.

"For you." He corrected. "I did this for you…"

"You did what you were meant to do." she told him. "that is what brought you to me."

Molly cried out a soft moan this time as he ran a skillful but gentle hand behind her thigh and lifted it against his hip before lifting her and pinning her carefully to the wall and pressing his hard cock against her.

He was surprised at how strong he felt, she was almost weightless in his arms, then the memory of rain and thunder over took him.

When he slipped inside her the image of that night became clear, more than clear it came to life, it became sensation and realization. The rain that beat down on him as he stood waiting for her car to stall, the thunder that caused her to jump, the small dark candle lit apartment she called home but, most of all, he was overpowered by the revelation of making love to her for the first time.

"Maltiel" he groaned as she sank onto him forcing him deep inside of her as warm water showered down on them both, she took his lips with her own. He felt many things pressed so deeply inside the warmth of her body, but mostly, he felt a sense of possession, of ownership, she was his, she always had been and she always would be.

"_I have been waiting for you… for this… longer than you can imagine Molly." he whispered into her mouth as he thrust into her the first time, reveling in the sensation of undeniable familiarity._

He grunted loudly and thrust inside of her again when the memory entered his head. "Yes…" he hissed, and her head tossed back as their hips met and she took him completely within her.

Castiel pressed his mouth to the throat of Maltiel.. Yes that is who she was… to him she was his lost angel, finally found. He bit at her soft skin tasting her. She didn't taste like the others, she didn't feel like them either and he moaned his pleasure into her throat. "So good." he breathed.

"That's it… harder." she coaxed him and he obliged, his hands holding her hips firmly grinding his own hips, reaching into her depths.

_He grunted as Molly's hips crashed into his own. Their thrusting was deep and powerful. He watched with delight as her neck arched back and a passionate moan of ecstasy broke free from her throat. He lovingly slid a hand under her neck and lowered his mouth to hers. "That's it." he whispered, while her body shook and shuddered with pleasure underneath his own. "Let it go." he told her before kissing her fervently, feeling her suck his tongue into her mouth then slowing as she came down from her orgasm. He nipped at her chin waiting for her breathing to slow. He smiled eagerly when she began to rotate her hips against him wanting more. He chuckled at her resilience, and was enthralled by her passion. She was his angel in the flesh, he only wished she remembered him. _

"I love you Maltiel.. I always have." He confessed pumping into the warmth between her legs.

"I know my love.. I know" she whimpered breathlessly into his ear. "I gave up heaven to be free to love you."

He slowed his relentless pumping and brought his face to hers and pressed his lips against hers tenderly. "I understand now." he said looking into the depths of her chocolate eyes, seeing the warm glow of the angel he thought he had lost forever. "I remember." he said before his mouth pressed over hers with a heat and desire that was beyond human.

_He rolled to his back and Molly straddled him willingly grinding her hips hard against his aching cock, gliding repeatedly over his throbbing erection as she looked down on him. It was her turn to watch his pleasure unfold. Castiel ran expert hands from her hips to her waist before finally cupping her swollen breasts in his large hands and rolling her nipples between his thumbs and forefingers. He groaned as she rode him, forcing him deeper inside her. His head tossed as a result of her efforts, he was willingly losing himself in the ecstasy that she was to him. He was once again complete inside of her, even if only temporarily._

Their moans grew louder and Maltiel met each thrust with her own while their tongues tangled and their breathing was reduced to short sharp puffs and grunts of pleasure.

"I… I…" Castiel stammered as he felt the aching in his groin building. He fought the inevitable explosion that was growing deep within him, but he soon lost control when he felt Maltiel tighten around him and heard her breathless urgings for him to let go.

"Yes," she cried into his ear when he did. Her body spasmed and shook in perfect time with his own almost violent tremors as he filled her with thick ropes of his release.

_Molly's body tensed as she rode him and yet another profound groan began to rise out of her throat. Castiel increased the speed of his thrusts as the coiled tension in his own abdomen became to much to resist and he released inside of her filling her to the point of overflowing while he sang her praises in a less then angelic way as a litany of words in some ancient language filled the air _

_He pulled her down close to him and kissed her as he ran fingers through her long brown hair. "I promise this will all make sense." he whispered to her as he kissed her passionately… "I will always be with you…"_

"You will never be alone… even when you can't see me, I'm with you and I promise soon you will understand my love for you…" Castiel repeated the same words into her ear that he had the first time they had been together.

He kissed her again and gently lowered her to the floor taking a moment to run a hand over her growing stomach. "You're alright?" he asked with a blush.

"Perfect" she smiled at him.

XXX


	9. Chapter 8

Mostly fuff and a little background info on how Castiel and Maltiel came to be... enjoy and feed back please

ep

xox

Chapter 8

Bright Future

Castiel awoke when a fracture of sunlight broke through the slit where curtains met on the window opposite the bed sending a shard of bright morning sunlight directly across his face. He squinted his eyes closed tighter and grumbled absently and he rolled to avoid it, but it was too late he was already pulled from sleep. Before even opening his eyes he noticed the room was cool verging on cold and instinctively reached to pull the thick comforter up over himself and Molly. Bringing the comforter around her he took the time to place a soft kiss on her bare then tucking it in, he gently reached under to lay an arm around her expanding belly, pulling her nearer to him, taking care not to wake her. She was sound asleep, but she still managed to respond to his gesture by snuggling against him even tighter. He smiled at this reaction and bent his head again, this time to nuzzle, then softly kiss the tender flesh of her exposed neck.

Laying his head back on the pillow next to hers, he rested his hand on her stomach, while his other hand sifted through her soft dark hair. He closed his eyes once more, doing his best to ignore the persistent sliver of light that seemed determined to seek out his face, and lost himself in the feel and smell of the silken tresses. He was awake now there would be no going back to sleep, still he didn't want to move. The former angel let out a sigh, though not one of unhappiness or discontent, quite simply put, he was exhausted. By his best estimation and judging by the brightness and position of the light entering the room, it was late morning. He and the others had spent three long, cold, and lonely days on the road, chasing rumors of provisions and stories of other camps and communities that may be willing to barter supplies and services for the same. Not to mention the constant threat of hijackers and Croats that existed out on the road. The conditions were enough to exhaust even the most seasoned of the men in the camp. He sighed again, this one most definitely tinged with satisfaction, exhausted or not, he was home and for the first time in a long time he was content to be there. Perfectly content as a matter of fact.

The war between what he had become and what he used to be, no longer raged within his mind, or is soul. It simply didn't matter any longer. He was what he was and the thing he had missed the most, loved the most, desired the most, was just as human as he was and now she lay sleeping in his arms. Her belly filled with his child and that child, filled with the promise of a future. It would have been selfish, even foolish to ask for more in a world where desolation was the status quo.

Molly stretched and rolled slightly, but didn't wake. His lips curled into a small satisfied smile relishing the movement of her body against his own. How long had he wanted and waited for just this moment. The memory of the previous night rushed back to him charging him, both mentally and physically. Making love to her in the shower, and returning to the cabin. They then made a small dinner and ate together in front of the fire. The couple talked, reliving memories of their time together in heaven, sharing laughter and smiles peppered with soft kisses and gentle caresses that grew fervently until, she submitted. Giving herself to him completely and wholly.

He made love to her, taking her slowly as the fire raged in the small stone fireplace and the light from it, reflected off of her perfect skin. Just the sight of her, lying prone and wanting, knowing she was his and his alone drove his passion to new heights. He suppressed the moan that rose in his throat just thinking about it and felt a slight aching run through him remembering the sense of absolute fulfillment that came from merely slipping inside of her. Hearing her sigh feeling her warmth wrap around him as he pressed deeper. He shivered when his mind turned to thoughts of her body beneath his, pressed so tightly to each other, not even the air dared get between them. The sounds, the smells and the tastes of sex lingered, still fresh in his mind. The arch of her back, and the way she tossed her head causing her hair to spray around her head, as he brought her to the moment of absolute pleasure and the subsequent thrill that rocketed through him when she did the same. The pure bliss of collapsing at the end, wrapped inside the safety each others arms, murmuring promises in a language that hadn't been spoken on earth in thousands of years. Free to finally whisper each others names amongst words of love and passion, instead cries of battle. It was as if there was no one but the two of them in the world, and certainly there was no one but the two them that could have ever shared that moment… it was perfect. Perfect… even though the world was crashing around him.

She stretched again, pulling him from the memory. This time she rolled to face him and bury her face into his chest. He welcomed her warm breath on his skin and moved his arm to rest around her, caressing her back, when she had settled once again. It wasn't long before he felt the soft kisses she planted on his chest.

"I still can't believe you're here with me." he whispered thoughtfully reveling in the sensation of her lips against the skin on his bare chest as he threaded long fingers through her hair and looked down on her.

She tilted her head up to look at him and smiled at him and then kissed him. He knew without her saying a word she would never be any place else again.

XXX

"So?" Molly asked looking at Castiel expectantly from where she sat amongst the rumpled sheets and comforter on the bed.

"So…. What?"Castiel asked in return, answering her question with a question and a deceptively innocent look. He was standing at the stove toasting bread for her breakfast. He knew very well the point of her question. He had promised her a surprise last night upon his return and he had yet to produce it. Inside he was every bit as anxious to show her what he had found as she was to see it, it was just that he enjoyed teasing her far too much to give in just yet.

"Don't tease me." she said, setting the tea he had made for her on the chest next to the bed and swinging her bare feet over the side. "I have ways of making you talk." she said and playfully narrowed her eyes at him.

He looked at her and chuckled then plopped the toasted bread off of the fork onto a plate before looking back to her. "You always were impatient." he sighed shaking his head, then began to toast a second slice.

"You didn't seem to mind my impatience in the shower." she told him with a beguiling grin spreading across her face.

He finished toasting the second slice while a mischievous smile of his own grew across his. He put the second piece of toast on the plate with the other and began to cross the room to her. "I never said it was a bad thing." he elaborated with a laugh as he handed her the plate.

She sighed frustrated, putting on a dramatic pouting expression.

"Alright" he said, giving in, amused by her playful antics. He sat next to her and kissed the side of her head. "Eat… then I will get Chuck and a few of the others to help me unload and you can have your surprise." he laughed.

XXX

An hour later Castiel, Chuck and Dean stood at the back of his truck. Castiel knelt in the back sliding boxes to the end of the bed for the others to lift off.

"Wow that's a lot of diapers." Chuck said as he stacked the third case behind the truck.

"Well if there is nothing else, there are a lot of baby supplies left in the world." Castiel said as he shoved another box to the end.

Dean grunted and lifted the box that contained the crib and sat in on the ground next to the diapers. "Just how much stuff did you get?" he questioned.

"Enough" Castiel answered.

Dean looked at him and laughed. "You ought to get some sort of speed record in your honor." he said tilting his head trying to read the contents of the next box on the truck.

"For?" Castiel questioned.

"Face it you went from ladies man to pussy whipped in record time dude." he laughed at his own smart ass remark.

Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed at his friend. "It wasn't as sudden as you might think." he responded.

"So you admit you're whipped?" Dean cracked.

Castiel shrugged him off and shoved the last box forward.

"Have you really known her since… well since forever?" Chucked asked.

The former angel laughed a little at prophets phrasing before replying. "Longer." he said sitting on the tailgate.

"So ?" Dean grinned. "You did have a girl in Heaven!" he teased.

"Not exactly. I guess you could say we were close… more so than was acceptable… circumstance and convention made it impossible to act on such feelings."

"But you were in love with her?" Chuck asked.

"Yes… " Castiel nodded "Frustratingly so."

"Wow hot for a girl for thousands of years and you couldn't do anything about it… I'd have been so outta there." Dean said.

"Well Heaven is a little different… being in her presence there was quite fulfilling. Her true form is unbelievably beautiful, and she is… was quite a skilled and powerful soldier, having her by my side in battle was very satisfying. " he explained.

"But it wasn't enough." Dean said knowingly.

"No… it wasn't enough." Castiel confessed. "The world was young and so were we when we were paired as soldiers the first time." he went on. "From that point forward we were together… pretty much all of the time."

"Wow that much time with the same woman…" Dean said amazed.

Castiel laughed at the hunter. "She wasn't exactly a woman in heaven."

"Still… I can't even imagine." he said.

"Well that part wasn't difficult." he said. "But as I said the world was young and we got to watch mankind grow and experience emotions… learn to love." he said quietly.

"And you liked what you saw?" Dean asked.

"More than that, it caused us both understand the feelings we had for one another."

"But you never acted on them." Chuck said sounding almost sad.

"We couldn't…. until now." He smiled.

XXX

Molly was propped in bed reading, she had gotten dressed and pulled her dark hair up into a lose but high pony tail. Castiel had been outside for almost an hour and she was fighting to stay wake working hard to stay focused on one of the many books Lilly had brought her to help pass the time while Castiel was gone on the run.

Just as she was about to give into her heavy eyelids she heard the loud thumping of boots on the porch and the voices of Castiel, Dean and Chuck, then the door swung open.

"Don't move." Castiel said sticking his head through the door before coming all of the way in.

In the next few moments the three men made several trips in and out of the cabin carrying several boxes of assorted shapes and sizes.

"What's all this." Molly asked looking at them.

"Apparently Cass found a Mall that hadn't been wiped clean." Dean said.

'Oh?" She looked at him confused.

"Come look." Castiel said with a goofy grin.

"Mostly it's baby stuff." Chuck told her.

"But there are other things too." Castiel added.

"And a whole lotta diapers." Dean added.

"Three cases." Castiel told the hunter, then looked at Molly. "I found a crib and clothes." he said enthusiastically.

"This is gonna be the best dressed kid in camp." Dean said reaching into a box and pulling out a tiny outfit.

"The only kid in camp." Molly corrected.

"Well he's gonna be a fashion plate that's for sure." Dean said.

"And books." Chuck told her reaching into another box and pulling out several paperbacks and children's books.

"This one is for you." Castiel said bringing a large box to the bed. "Mostly it is clothes, they should give you plenty of room to grow." he grinned at her. 'But there are other things too. Some shampoo and soap, lotion… socks and other stuff." he said.

When she first came to camp on of the first things he notices was how well cared for she was. She wasn't underfed, her skin was soft not worn by too much sun or beaten by wind and cold. He was determined to keep it that way.

"You really are excited aren't you? About all of this." she said looking down at her belly and then at the angel bemused.

He nodded. "In all the time I have been here Molly… this place has only been a roof over my head. But if you are going to stay here and if we are going to have a child. He deserves a home… these things are a start…. I hope."

"Yes they are." She agreed and leant into her lovers arms. "Thank you."

"There is still one more thing." he said, taking her hand and leading her to the porch. He went to the railing and pointed down at another large box. "It's a generator… in about an hour we will have our own hot water." he said with wink and a smile.

XXX

Molly and Castiel managed to put everything away he brought home then she took a nap while he and Dean worked on the generator. Afterwards they walked to the community kitchen and had dinner with everyone else. It was the first time since she arrived that Molly had been able to meet everyone in camp. Most everyone was very curious but also very welcoming. She and Castiel agreed it was probably best to stick with the story Dean had told everyone, so no one knew she was an angel, or just how long she had truly known Castiel. Many were honestly stunned to see him sober and so obviously in love with one woman, and weren't shy about telling him so.

Afterwards the couple walked back to their cabin slowly, arm in arm. She wrapped both of her arms around one of his and rested her head high on his arm as they walked. They went slowly enjoying the crisp night air and he told her stories of his first few years on earth, filling in many of the blanks she still had about him. He told her of Uriel's turn against them and his subsequent death. She wasn't surprised.

"I never did trust him." she said matter of fact as they walked.

"I know." he answered with a small laugh. "You're instincts were always good." he said.

He told her of finding Anna and her own twisted intentions. This seemed to make Molly more sad than anything.

"It's a shame she separated herself so far from the truth." she sighed "Her intentions were good but not pure." she sighed.

He simply nodded taking in her insight.

When they made it back to the cabin he took her hand and began to help her up the stairs. She stopped after the first two and turned to look at him and then up to the stars in the night sky, before looking back to him.

"Do you miss it?" she asked nodding towards the heavens.

"Not anymore." he smiled.


	10. Chapter 9

Not much to say... sort of boring even... maybe lol but needed to set up the next part.

Enjoy and FEEDBACK pretty please

xox

ep

Chapter 9

Time

The next few weeks passed pretty slowly for Molly. The end of November crept into December making the days even shorter and nights colder, especially the nights when she found herself alone. And they were many, as Dean and Sam scheduled more runs than usual trying to get stocked up before the winter brought bad weather and impassible roads.

By mid December Molly was becoming increasingly tired, grumpy and bored. Not to mention huge. When Castiel was home she forgot all of those things. He doted, on her, offering up back rubs and foot rubs as often as possible. She returned the favor taking with him the long walks he loved and reading to him from his favorite books as she ran adept fingers through his hair while he snuggled against her ever growing belly. He had traded is gaggle of women for the angel he loved and the child she carried and he never looked back. Any remaining urges were now satisfied by hours soaking together in warm baths of herb scented water, and if not there, couple could be found intertwined on just about any available surface of the cabin. They were finally free to love each other, and neither could have been happier despite the circumstances. But when he was gone, even her best efforts fell short, Molly found it hard to be content.

The last few days had been good though, Castiel had been gone on a four day run with Dean and the others. Molly was nearly insane with boredom and worry by the time he pulled into camp, she could hardly contain her excitement when he finally did. He slid out of his truck and looked up to the front porch as he always did, he grinned to see her waiting. The former angel was tired, weary even, but still managed to race to where she stood and scoop her into his arms. They spent most of the next 3 days just that way, in each others arms. Now it was time for him to leave again and Molly could feel the restlessness building inside of her already.

She was standing at the cabin door holding it open as Castiel moved another armload of firewood inside. She wasn't sure how many trips he had made she lost count at four. "This should be enough, no matter how cold it gets." he said, setting the last load down then dropping to his knees to stack each wedge neatly with the others.

"I can do that after you've gone." Molly said reaching for his arm and pulling until he gave in and rose to his feet.

He could see it on her face she was dreading his leaving, though she would never say so. He brushed the dust and chips of wood off of his jacket then took her in his arms. "It's only a two day trip." he said soothingly, pressing her head to his chest and swaying her back and forth.

"I know." She answered and looked up at him, offering a small smile. "It's just boring when you're gone." she sighed.

He nodded his head, he knew her so very well, at her core she was, like him, a soldier, doing nothing when so much needed to be done was just not in her nature. He imagined her place in all of this had to be maddening for her. He nudged her lips with his own, teasing her into a lingering kiss, and when it ended he said, "I know it's hard, but for now your only job is right here." he said dropping a hand and sweeping it lovingly across her bulging belly.

Molly smiled at both his gesture and the squirms and bumps his touch seemed to elicit from the life growing inside of her. "He knows who you are." she whispered into Catiel's ear and he smiled at the idea.

"You think so?" he questioned.

"uh huh." She nodded and smiled.

He grinned from ear to ear at the prospect, then kissed her again.

"I was thinking of talking to Lilly." Molly said when he pulled away from the kiss. "About maybe helping her at the infirmary." she looked up at him hopeful but prepared for his argument.

Castiel dropped his head and sighed. "Molly… I don't think that is the best place for you right now."

"Castiel… I was raised the daughter of Doctor," she moved in with her defense quickly, knowing he would resist. " I worked with my father in some pretty awful places the past five years. Longer than that if you consider all of the clinic work he did before the world went crazy." she told him.

"I know that… but… Molly it's a big risk for you… for the baby. No… I don't like the idea." he determined, shaking his head. "It's not gonna happen." he went on shaking his head.

She narrowed her eyes at him and tightened her full lips.

"Don't look at me that way." he said, absently scratching at his scruffy chin, knowing his obstinacy on the subject may very well have tapped into an anger that would make a room full of croats look appealing.

"I need to do something Castiel and this is something I know how to do." she said just as stubbornly, pulling away from him and crossing her arms over her chest and resting them on her expanding stomach.

She was perturbed, but accepted his decision better than he'd expected. Either way he wasn't backing down. "After the baby comes, I'm sure Lilly will find a place for you if that is what you want." he told her, turning to zip his duffle closed.

"After the baby comes I plan to go with you." she informed him.

Okay this was news to him and he didn't hide the fact. "What?" he asked, stunned, turning to face her. "No that is just… out of the question." he dropped his bag to the floor.

"Castiel I am more than capable of doing what you do."

And she was… if she were still an angel… but she wasn't. He answered her with one word. "No."

"And why not?" she persisted.

"For one we will have a child. What do you plan to do with him? Take him along?"

"Of course not. Lilly and the others will help."

He shook his head. "No." he said again and went back to gathering his things for the trip.

"I am here for a reason Castiel… You know that is true. My work is in the world out there not in here behind this fence." she reminded him.

He turned to face her and placed his hands on her shoulders guiding her backwards to a chair, pushing her down to sit in it next to the fireplace, before dropping to his knees in front of her. 'Maltiel" he used her true name, that is, after all who she was and exactly who he was dealing with at the moment.

"No one knows better than myself what you are capable of." he started. "But you are human now, your experience with human weapons is limited at best. You are not prepared for the world that lies beyond the fence of this encampment." he told her gently.

"Then I will learn." she said determined.

He sighed again, and then chuckled remembering how and exactly why he fell in love with her. She was determined, and fearless, she was always true to the battle, no matter what the battle may be. 33 years in the body of a mortal woman did nothing to change that, not one bit, he found. He lifted his head and she opened her mouth to speak, more arguments he assumed. He didn't give her the chance, instead he covered her mouth with his own, kissing her passionately, bringing his hands up to the back of her head, pressing her mouth to his forcefully while his fingers tangled in the long dark locks of her hair. He smiled into the kiss as he felt her hands and mouth respond in kind. If he could have only done this in heaven how different their disputes might have ended there, he thought, as his tongue twisted with hers.

He pulled from her reluctantly, looking at her longingly. "Please." he said. "We can talk about this when I come home. I have to leave and I don't want you to be angry when I do."

Molly's face softened. "I'm not angry… just frustrated." she told him and kissed then nibbled at his scruff covered cheek. "I love you." she whispered as her lips worked their way to his ear. "I just miss they way we were… together."

"You've told me yourself things are about to change… it will not always be this way."

"Yes" she nodded.

"Then be patient." he said and kissed her one last time, "I love you." he told her, before standing and slinging his duffle over his shoulder.

Molly walked with him to the porch and watched as he and chuck got into his truck, he gave her one last wave before pulling away, falling in line with the rest of the convoy.

She pulled the thick sweater she was wearing tightly around her, and shivered with a chill, watching the last truck fade from view. The sky was gray heavy with clouds that promised snow and her chest was full of dread for reasons she couldn't explain.

XXX

The two days the men were gone passed even more slowly than usual for everyone in the camp, but especially for Molly. The feeling of trepidation she felt when they left persisted, made worse by the heavy snow that began to fall within a few hours of their leaving. The snow continued into the next day, leaving the encampment to contend with several feet of frozen misery. With many the strongest members of their group gone on the supply run the camp was all but paralyzed by the snow and ice that soon formed.

To make matters worse a virus had made it's way into the general population. While Doc sounded positive and assured everyone it was nothing more serious than the common cold, Molly knew, in these conditions, there was nothing common about a cold. It was quite serious, many of the inhabitants were weak from not enough food or medications to treat other chronic ailments. For those people, something as simple as a cold, was a death sentence. Molly had seen the devastation the sniffles could cause in a community like this one while working with her father over the last few years.

The sun was setting and Molly sat on the porch in her usual chair wrapped in a heavy quilt. She had a book open on her lap and she did her best to focus on it, but the words just passed in front of her eyes, little of their meaning made it to her brain. She checked the position of the sun and confirmed her fears by looking at the watch on her wrist. It was 30 minutes until sundown and there was no sign of the convoy. They were late. She could only hope they had stopped and found safe shelter before sunset. Things were worse after dark, she knew this not only from Castiel's warnings, but from her own experience in the deteriorating world.

She was startled by a sneeze, and the muttering of "Damn" coming from a voice just off of the porch.

"Lilly?" She questioned getting up to move to the stairs to look down.

"Yes." the older woman answered "Sorry… I wanted to get up here to check on you sooner, but we've been over-run at the infirmary."

"It doesn't look like you are doing too well either." Molly noted.

The doctor grunted and shrugged. "I don't have the luxury of getting sick even when I do." she laughed.

Molly laughed with her, but inside she was concerned. It was said Doctors made the worst patients, she knew from caring for her own father how true this was. He rarely even admitted to illness let alone accepted care.

"I feel bad Lilly… you didn't need to come all the way up here in the snow. I'm fine. Bored but fine."

Doc nodded. "He doesn't let you do much of anything does he." she chuckled.

"No." Molly sighed and rolled her eyes. "I've loved him from the moment I saw him, but he can be impossible."

Lilly laughed "He calls you stubborn."

"I'm aware." Molly sighed, "But at least I am reasonable."

"He just worries about you." she laughed and squeezed Molly's shoulder. "He loves you and I for one am glad to see it."

"Yeah" Molly responded with a smile that soon turned to concern. She looked back out to the gravel road leading into the camp. There was no sign of the convoy and it was officially sunset. "…And now it is my turn to worry." she said getting up and walking to the edge of the porch.

Doc understood Molly's concern. "So they're a day late getting back… it happens sometimes in bad weather. I wouldn't worry too much just yet."


	11. NOTE

I am going to be taking a break from FFN for a while. I currently have 4 stories open here. 3 of which I update very regularly. Lately I am just not getting much feed back which tells me I am boring you to tears.

For those who do read and review regularly I promise this is only a little break. 4 to 6 weeks at most. I am working on a novel - that with a little luck - will be published and available on amazon by Halloween. (cross your fingers.) and I really need to give those chapters some attention anyway right now. For those that read and never say a word… well now is your chance lol.

Any one interested in reading some odds and ends from the novel shoot me out a PM and I will hook you up with a chap or 2 in exchange for an honest review.

Love you guys who are so generous with your time and tell me what you think and I even love the ones who don't…. but if I am going to work blind then I have to dedicate that time to my book.

See you all soon I PROMISE I am not abandoning any of these fics. As a matter of fact I will probably continue to write them just not edit or post. As a matter of fact the final chap of 'Road" has already been written so have no fear I will be back!

Xox

EP


	12. Chapter 10

Call it a bonus. My God Daughter who has been working with me editing the novel went to the beach for a few days with her mom so i decided to write a few SHORT updates for all of the fics i am workong on. Shhhh dont tell she will give me hell I'm supposed to be working on the novel lol. So enjoy and feedback as always!

xox

EP

Chapter 10

What's the Worst that Could Happen

Another day had passed, Castiel and the others still had not returned from the supply run. Doc felt certain they had run into the same bad weather that had all but paralyzed the camp and they would roll in just as soon as they could clear a path. Molly wasn't so sure it was that simple. She wanted to believe Lilly, but she couldn't lose the heavy feeling of dread in her chest.

For now the snow had mercifully stopped, and even though the camp was for the most part buried, it was the least of their problems. The cold virus hit the encampment hard. There were few people, aside from Molly, who weren't sick to some degree and most were very ill. The infirmary staff was hit the hardest, nearly all of the men and women who helped Doc run the place, were now patients. Doc herself was probably one of the worst, but she insisted on continuing her work all but refusing to rest or accept help.

Molly wasn't effected by the virus and trudged to the infirmary to help early this morning. Despite Doc's protests, she convinced her to let her tag along and help check on everyone. Mollu passed out what little medication they had available to them to the people who needed it most. She also made herbal tea for the patients who were confined to the infirmary, while doing her best to look after Doc, whose stubbornness was losing the battle to the virus. The woman needed to rest.

"You should sit down a while Molly," Doc told her, as she wiped her nose with the crumpled tissue and moved on to the next bed in the infirmary. "I can handle the next few on my own. I don't like you on your feet this long."

"I'm fine." Molly smiled at the older woman. "You are the one who should get some rest."

"No time." Doc told her. "I'm the only thing they have right now."

"I can pass out tea and decongestants" Molly told her. "You're right you're needed here. All the more reason you should get some rest now and let me help you where I can. You have a fever, and you are so congested you can hardly breathe… you need a break Lilly." She insisted.

Lilly sighed and looked at the pregnant woman, it was obvious she was exhausted. "Molly I can't let you do all of this yourself. Castiel is going to have my head on a stick as it is…" she sighed again, "When he finds out I let you help." she shook her head.

"Castiel isn't here, or he would feel differently I'm sure. He wouldn't expect me to do nothing."

"I'm not so sure." Doc laughed. "He worries."

"Lilly please… At least go lie down on the sofa in the office and let me finish here."

"Alright.' Doc sighed. "But as soon as you finish, I want you to go home, put your feet up and get warm."

"I promise." Molly said and helped Lilly to her office.

XXX

Dean drove slowly behind the snow plow that they and found and managed to get running and somehow keep running. They had been gone from camp hardly six hours when the storm hit and no more than a day when the men starting coming down sick.

At first they didn't know what it was and prepared for the worst. Scavenging, pharmacies, hospitals, doctors offices, hell even a veterinary clinic in search of medications. Coming up for the most part empty handed. Illnesses as simple as the flu had become lethal enemies over the last five years, most places had been cleaned out long ago.

They holed up for a day in an abandoned hospital that provided little more than shelter, warm blankets and empty beds. Then they backtracked trying to get back home.

The snowfall made it impossible to return by the same back roads they came and they had to travel larger high ways, leaving them more exposed to hijackers. Thankfully, the virus seemed to stay in check turning out so far to be little more than the common cold. But Dean would be the first to admit he wasn't a Doctor and whether it was a cold, or something worse, a few of the men had become severely ill as a result. Castiel was one of them. He and two others had all the signs and symptoms of pneumonia. While Dean just wanted to get them home, he also had qualms about returning to camp with a virus… any virus in tow.

XXX

Molly woke at sunrise, once again alone and this morning the feeling in her chest was growing more urgent. She hadn't slept well she dreamt all night of being feverish and short of breath. She had truly never been sick a day in her life and found it more than a little odd to dream such a thing so realistically when she had never experienced anything even remotely close.

She got dressed and made a pot of tea and poured it into the old and battered thermos, then made her way to see how Doc was feeling.

She stopped on the porch long enough to stare out at the snow covered road that led in and out of the encampment. Nothing no movement at all. Something was wrong she was certain of it.


	13. Chapter 11

See i didnt forget you all lol. Still working on the novel going to try for a few short updates to all my stories each week until i get more time. Ejnoy and feed back!

xox

EP

Chapter 11

Sick and Tired

Another two days passed and there was still no sign of Castiel, Dean or the others. Doc's condition had fortunately begun to improve, the older woman was up and around tending patients and giving orders, feeling more like her old self than she had in days. It was a good thing too, because Molly suddenly wasn't doing so well.

It was nine in the morning and Lilly had finished making her rounds with the few remaining patients in the infirmary when she realized Molly hadn't shown up this morning.

Not that she had to be there, as a matter of fact Lilly would have preferred the woman stay in the warmth of her cabin with her feet propped doing nothing more strenuous than reading a good book. But that wasn't like Molly anymore than it was like her to miss morning rounds at the infirmary and Doc couldn't help but worry.

She paced the small room that served as her office impatiently watching the small square window. 9:30 had come and still no sign of Molly. Lilly put on her coat and walked to the main doors passing Jason on the way. Jason was one of the camp residents who helped out in the infirmary. He was an older man but not ancient. Still he had more than a few lingering health issues that made him more of a liability than an asset on supply runs. He pulled his weight by helping out where ever he was needed around the camp.

"Jason" Doc stopped him as they passed at the doorway. "Did you see Molly on you're way in?"

"Nah… Didn't see any lights on at the cabin when I passed making security checks either. Figured she was here with you already. You want me to go check on her?"

"No I'm on my way there now. Just keep and eye on everyone here. Come get me if you need me."

He nodded and Lilly headed out the door.

The weather had warmed some, although still early winter, and was far from the last of the cold they would see, this round of snow and ice was finally beginning to melt. Doc walked as fast as she could to the cabin Molly and Castiel shared. It was the first of the larger cabins as you came into camp which meant it was the farthest away from everyone else. Castiel chose it for himself when they first landed there. It was hard to tell why the former angel decided to keep himself so far away from everyone else but, until recently, it was pretty hard to make sense of much of anything the angel had done. Doc just wished she could walk faster and her mind muttered a silent promise to kick Castiel's ass when he came back for choosing this cabin. Of course she also said a silent prayer to anything that might be listening, that his ass was alive and well enough to kick.

However the long walk did allow her the occasion to ponder all of the things that could be keeping Molly inside. Most of them unpleasant, some of them down right terrifying and all of them as a physician and a reasonable human being she knew better than to think at all at least as anything more than a 'what if' Still she thought of them.

Finally she turned the corner and headed up the cabin stairs. Jason had been right. There wasn't a sign of light. No warm glow of a lantern or a candle. No hint of a fire in the fireplace. Lilly knocked on the door and shouted. "Molly."

At first there was no response so she knocked again. "Molly" Just as she was about to open the door herself, with the nearby axe if necessary, the door opened.

XXX

Dean had found an abandoned motel a few miles outside of camp. He had wanted nothing more than to get his men back to camp warm and safe. But so many were sick, he didn't want to infect the entire camp. When he found the motel he ordered them to stop there and set up for a few days. There was no heat or electricity anymore, but for the most part the rooms were in one piece, warm and dry.

They had managed to scrounge up a little medicine and even trade for some antibiotics on the way back. But not everyone was getting better. A few of the older men seemed to be worsening and then there was Castiel. He had been hit early and hard. Still he drove on and pulled his weight, until he just couldn't anymore. And he really couldn't, Dean worried if he didn't get his friend home today, he might not have a tomorrow.

"Come on… Load it up." Dean shouted as the men scurried about taking anything salvageable from the motel and loading it into the trucks.

"Dean" Chuck said approaching. We need to get on the road. He really isn't good."

"Yeah, I know." Dean nodded trying not to look into Chucks worried eyes.

"I stayed with him the last two days and I have given him the antibiotics… I don't think they are helping." Chuck ran ringers through his hair then blew into his hands to warm them.

"He'll be okay Chuck just get him loaded in the truck."

Chuck looked at Dean pensively. "Yeah you're right" he said, nodding and trying to sound positive. As Dean walked away towards his own truck, and Chuck turned away to collect Castiel, he muttered… "I hope."

XXX

Molly slept peacefully in what Lilly imagined to be the first time in days. When she opened the door Doc couldn't believe her eyes. It was Molly but she was pale and gaunt with deep dark rings under her eyes. It looked as if she hadn't slept in days. And she hadn't. Not very well anyway. Molly told Lilly about the dreams. Dreams where she was feverish and couldn't breath.

Lilly checked her over. She had no hint of physical illness and Molly reassured her the entire time she examined her, that she had never been ill with any sort of infection at all ever and doubted that was the cause. But what ever it was, the young woman looked like hell warmed over.

"Molly It is pure exhaustion. The dreams are stress related. When is the last time you ate?" she questioned.

"Last night. A little."

"A little?" Lilly repeated her answer. "How much is a little?"

"Hell Lilly I don't know." Molly snapped uncharacteristically. "I'm not exactly hungry. Actually I'm kind of full." She said spreading her arms and showing her expanding belly.

"And that baby you are full of will drain you dry if you don't feed yourself."

Molly sighed and sat on the bed. "I just don't feel like eating, or sleeping right now."

"Well you are going to, feel like it or not." This time Doc snapped. "Castiel asked me to see to three things. That you eat, sleep and rest. It doesn't look like you have done any of those things."

Molly sighed and rolled her eyes akin to a teenager receiving a lecture.

"Come on." Lilly said walking towards Maggie and the bed. "Get in and cover up. You're going to sleep while I make you something to eat. And then you are going to eat. Understand?"

"Yes" she sighed.

"Good. That angel is going to kick my ass when he gets back here if he sees you like this." Doc complained tucking the comforter around her.

Molly laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, taking in another deep breath. "Lilly."

"Yes?"

"Don't get me wrong… but… I hope he can… Kick your ass I mean."

Lilly sat on the edge of the bed and took Molly's hand in her own. "Me too." she said softly. "Me too."


	14. Chapter 12

Short and sweet. the next one will be more exciting ;D

Enjoy and feed back

xox

EP

Chapter 12

Homecoming

Lilly was washing dinner dishes and keeping a close eye on Molly who was once again sleeping peacefully when the commotion started. First she heard someone outside yelling and then she saw the first truck pull into the compound.

"Well it's about damn time." She said breathing a sigh of relief. Lilly grabbed a towel and dried her hands, then went to the bed to wake Molly.

XOXOX

Molly stood on the porch watching the trucks pull in. Lilly noticed the woman could hardly stand still, bouncing at the knees with a wide grin, her excitement was nearly palpable. "Calm down or you'll bounce that baby right out." Lilly teased her.

"Where is he?" Molly grumbled. "He usually pulls in second right behind Dean."

"Don't' worry I'm sure they didn't forget him." The words had no sooner left the Doctors mouth when Molly saw Castiel's truck make the bend and come into view. Before she could get too excited Dean parked and slid out of his truck. The expression on his face was serious. More serious than usual. He looked up to the cabin porch and nodded at Molly and then motioned to Doc to come down.

"What's going on?" Molly questioned

"I don't know." Doc shook her head and started walking towards the steps.

"I'm coming too." Molly said waking right behind her.

Doc just looked at her and sighed knowing it would do no good to tell her not to.

Castiel's truck was pulling into his regular parking space and Molly noticed that he wasn't driving. He wasn't even in the truck.

"Where is he. Where's Castiel?" She questioned Dean as soon as he was close enough to hear her.

"He's okay." Dean told her. "Just calm down let me talk to Doc a minute."

"NO. Where is he?" she pressed. Firmly.

Dean looked at Lilly and then back to Molly. He's sick. Pneumonia, we think. We had to move him to one of the vans to bring him back.

"Which van?" Molly asked narrowing her eyes at him.

"Ed's…the red one right over there." He pointed, then scrubbed his hand over his face and looked back to Doc.

"How bad is he?" She questioned pulling Dean to walk with her as she followed Molly.

"Not good." he said.

XOXOX

An hour later Castiel was settled in the infirmary. Doc didn't have the equipment needed to properly diagnose pneumonia, but she did agree it would be her first and best guess as to what was ailing the former angel.

"I don't get it." Dean sighed pacing at the foot of Castiel's bed. "We found medication we've been giving him antibiotics. Why isn't he getting better?"

"Actually these aren't antibiotics." Lilly said shaking the bottle of medication.

"Read the label Lilly." Dean said.

"I know what the label says but. That's not what's in the bottle."

"Well what is it. I have no clue." she said. "Where did you find them?"

Dean shrugged "A veterinary clinic."

Doc rolled her eyes.

"Lilly it's not like we have a whole lot of options out there."

"I know…I know. What else did you find?"

A couple boxes of stuff the men are unloading it now.

"Well lets go have a look and see if there is anything that is useful."

Lilly and Dean walked towards the back doors where the boxes were being brought in leaving Molly to sit at Castiel's bedside. She had heard the conversation, but at the moment she was more focused on helping her lover to heal.

He was wheezing horribly and his eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping, but Castiel had gripped her hand the moment she touched his. She was certain he knew she was there and hopeful her presence and energy would do him some good.

Doc returned a few minutes later, her hands were full of bags of IV fluids and she wore a smile on her face.

"I think we hit the jackpot." She said smiling at Molly. "It's veterinary grade and expired three years ago, but I found antibiotics and fluid. With a little luck this should do the trick."

Molly returned the woman's smile and nodded, "I hope."

XOXOX

A few hours later Castiel was settled for the night. Doc had started giving him the medications and Molly had cleaned him up. Then Dean helped get him into a fresh pair of sweat pants and t-shirt.

"His fever is still so high." Molly worried out loud and Dean heard her.

"Yeah but the medicine will help." He said trying to relieve some of her worry.

She nodded never taking her eyes off of Castiel.

"You're exhausted. Why don't you let me walk you home, then I will come back and stay with him tonight." Dean offered

"No I'll be fine." she said and this time she looked up to him and gave a small smile. "I want to be here when and if fever breaks in case he wakes up."

"Okay. But will you at least lie down in one of the other beds." he asked.

"If I get tired enough. I will. I promise."

He sighed knowing damn well she was already tired enough. Hell she looked tired enough to fall over.

"Alright." he said.

XOXOX

Six o'clock the next morning Castiel started to cough and moan. Molly who had fallen asleep in her chair bent over his bed was the first one to hear him and yelled for Dean to find Doc.

"He's soaked" Molly told the woman when she came to the bed. "I think the fever his breaking, but so is the fluid in his chest."

A few hours later his temperature was down and the angel was beginning to wake up. Molly sat on the edge of his bed with a cool cloth, wiping his forehead and neck trying to keep him cool while the fever reduced. Castiel was awake on and off. Opening his eyes now and then too look at her and give a small smile before they would roll up into his head again and his lids would close A few times he tried to speak but she put her fingers over his lips and shushed him each time. Then leant down and kissed him gently whispering that she loved him.

XOXOX

At sunset Castiel awoke fully. He felt horrible, but better than he had. He looked down to see Molly bent over his bed in her chair. She was asleep. He frowned seeing her so tired and worried. Not to mention far away. He sighed, but it came out a barking cough instead, waking her.

"Come here" he said in a voice just barely loud enough to hear. And he moved over in the bed.

"No." she shook her head. "Stay still."

He shook his head right back. "Come here." he rasp as loud as he could and reached for her arm. Then pulled her to the bed.

"There isn't enough room for all of us in there Castiel." she laughed and rubbed her belly.

"Yes there is." he nodded. She sighed and gave in.

"Okay but when we break the bed you are telling Doc not me."

He smiled seeing her maneuver her huge belly around him and onto the bed. He moved gently to his side and she pressed her back to his front. Castiel wrapped his arm around her letting his rest on her stomach. Pressing his mouth to her ear. "I love you…miss you both." again it came out just barely loud enough to hear.

Molly smiled feeling his arms around her again…finally. "We love you and missed you too." she said placing her hand over his on her belly and she closed her eyes.

Doc came in an hour later to check on Castiel. She smiled and shook her head seeing the small family asleep in the tiny bed. She walked to the corner and grabbed the makeshift privacy curtain and pulled it around the bed.

"Now maybe everyone else can get some rest." she laughed.


	15. Chapter 13

See i didnt forget about you. and I promise this one is continued! just as soon as i catch up on a few other things.

On a side note I am looking for a few very fast readers to give the finished novel a once over. It should be ready in about 2 weeks. What I am looking for is 2 or 3 people who are familiar with my writing style to read it and send my an honest reivew. PM me if you are interested and I will give you all of the details.

For now enjoy! FEEDBACK please

xox

EP

Six Weeks

"Okay, okay Lilly I got it. Really I feel fine." Castiel told Doc as he bent over to tie his boots.

He had been in the infirmary for a week, when Doc gave him the all clear to return to his cabin, he couldn't wait to get out of there.

"Castiel I mean it. All this means is that you can go home and crawl in your own bed instead of taking up space in one of mine." Doc had one hand placed firmly on each hip as she watched the former angel all but ignore her as she spoke.

"Yeah I got it. I'll rest." he sighed. He liked Lilly a great deal, but right now she seemed like a mother hen. "Where'd you send Molly?" Stretching his neck and looking around the infirmary.

The infirmary consisted of one large room filled with beds and cots, with doorways to a few smaller rooms, m used as exam rooms and one as Lilly's office, scattered along the walls.

"No runs, No unloading trucks. I don't want to see you off of your own porch. Stay down! Understand?" She went on, ducking and bending doing her best to stay in his line of sight as he bent and twisted, packing his few remaining belongings into his duffle, stopping every few seconds to look for Molly.

"Uh huh…" He nodded obviously not listening, too busy looking around the infirmary. "Molly?" He questioned again, turning his attention back to Doc. "Where'd you send her?"

"She went to get your meds. Are you listening to me at all?" she growled.

"Yes of course. Stay in bed, no runs and no lifting. See I got it." He flashed her a quick pacifying smile before spinning around searching out the other angel. He stopped mid spin and turned back to Doc. "By down…You don't mean. DOWN right?" He winked at the older woman.

"Aurgh! You haven't changed a bit." She complained. "Just narrowed your prospects." she grumbled tucking her graying hair behind her ears.

Castiel shrugged then looking over the older woman's should he grinned ear to ear. He'd spied Molly near Doc's office, talking to Jason. "Yeah…to ONE. And I lover her." He added. "That has to count for something." he responded patting her on the shoulder as he moved passed her trying to reach the very pregnant woman.

Doc nodded. "I suppose it does, but let me remind you." She turned and grabbed his arm by the elbow pulling him back to her, then turning to face him. "My best guess is she has another six weeks to go before that baby makes it's entrance."

Castiel stopped gawking at Molly and looked back to Doc, his expression more serious. "Six weeks?" he repeated.

"Yeah lover boy, six weeks and you are going to be a father. So keep that in mind Once you get her home."

"So are you saying we shouldn't-"

She cut him off. "Of course not. I am just saying no acrobatics." she chuckled. "Take it easy. Honestly. You both need rest but…you should enjoy the next few weeks, it's going to be a lot different for both of you once there is a baby in that cabin."

"Six weeks." He said again looking stunned staring at his shoes, then looking back up, eyes seeking Molly. "She's okay though right?" He asked suddenly feeling out of the loop. Hell just how long had be been sick. I just didn't seem possible.

"Yes Castiel. She's fine but she needs rest" Castiel nodded his eyes once again seeking the angel. She had moved and was now standing at the bed of another patient. One of the few kids at the camp. 14 year old Matthew Barnes. He had fallen out of a tree the day before and broke his leg pretty badly. Molly was looking at a drawing he had made.

Lilly watched the former angel as he stared at the young woman, his expression was that of amazement. "You did know that was a baby in there?" She teased him.

Castiel laughed softly. "Yeah." He grinned again. "I just wasn't paying attention to the time." he said softly. "I should have never left her alone. Not this last time." shaking his head.

"Well what's done is done. And she is fine. Tired. The girl needs rest but, otherwise she is healthy as a horse." Lilly reassured him.

"Rest." Castiel repeated as Molly walked towards him. "She'll get plenty I promise." He said, his smile widening as she came closer. Close enough for him to wrap his arms around. Enveloping her in a hug, before nudging her nose with his own. "I love you." He whispered against her lips and kissed her deeply.

"Okay break it up." Doc teased. "We got a kid in here."

Castiel pulled away from the kiss and brought a hand up to her face tangling his long fingers in her hair. Sighing feeling the longs silken strands between is fingers.

"What was that about." Molly questioned taken off guard.

Castiel smiled and shook his head. "I just realized how much I missed you."

XOXOX

An a hour later Castiel and Molly had settled back into their cabin. When they first got there they found Dean and Chuck at the cabin. They had come to stock the cabin with food and wood.

"You shouldn't have to bring wood in for a few days. When it gets low just call me I'll bring more." Dean told Molly knowing Castiel would argue about doing it himself.

Chuck stayed in the kitchen stocking the kitchen shelves with canned goods and fresh bread and cookies made by a few of the women in camp. When he finished he filled a plate with cookies and brought it to Castiel and Molly. "These are from Greta and Sandy. He told them."

Dean eyed the cookies. "How come I never get cookies?"

"Perhaps they like me better." Castiel smirked.

"Yeah well, at least every woman in camp under the age of 60 doesn't want my head on a stick." Dean told him with a smirk.

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes as he sat on his bed. "Most of the women here are fine with Molly and I." he told him. "The rest will come around eventually."

"Well still, it must be nice to know the over 60 crowd has your back." Dean laughed.

"I'm just happy you're feeling better." Chuck jumped in. "I don't know about everyone else but you scared the hell out of me." he shrugged and looked relieved. For the most part Chuck only had two expressions these days. Scared shitless and relieved.

Castiel nodded. "Thanks Chuck and I feel fine now." he said. " Good thing too because It looks like I have some work to do." he looked at the boxes stacked at the foot of the bed.

"Oh no." Dean shook his head. Stealing a sugar cookie off of Castiel's plate and cramming it in his mouth whole. "Doc said you aren't to do anything." he mumbled around the half chewed cookie.

"Well doc doesn't have a baby to get ready for." Castiel reminded..

"We have plenty of time to worry about all of that." Molly told in moving next to him on the bed and leaning her head against his shoulder. Let me just enjoy having you here for a while.

"Six weeks isn't as long as it seems." He reminded her, sliding a hand over her stomach.

"It's long enough that you don't have to worry about it this week. All you are going to do is rest." she scolded.

"And I can help when you're ready." Chuck offered. "I mean how hard can it be to put a crib together?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded snatching his third cookie. "When you're ready we can both help."

"See." Molly said. "You have no excuse not to listen to Lilly and rest."

Castiel nodded at her. "And you too. Doc told me you were tired."

"She also told you I was perfectly fine." Molly reminded him.

"She said you needed rest. So I'll stay in bed if you do." He grinned turning his head to nuzzle her ear.

"Okay and that is my cue to leave before I see something that will scar me for life." Dean said stealing one more cookie and standing up.

Chuck nodded. "Me too." he said and then blushed. "Not that I am worried about being scarred for life." he corrected "Not that I want to…" he trailed off. "I should probably just go." He finally said with a shrug and pointed to the door. "I'll come back later to check on you both for Doc." he reminded before heading out the door with Dean.

Castiel got out of bed and followed the two men to the door locking it behind them when they left. Then he turned to close the curtains in the cabin. "What do you think you're doing.?" Molly questioned standing up and walking towards him.

"Ensuring a little privacy." He smiled turning to walk to her. He opened his arms as he approached and she fell into the them easily releasing a relieved sigh when she did. Castiel held her tightly feeling her relax and understood it was probably for the first time in nearly two weeks.

"I never meant for you to worry like that." he told her. 'For that I am sorry."

He felt her head nod against his chest. "You didn't do anything. You were sick. It's alright as long as you do what you're told."

"Stay in bed?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I can do that." he said smiling down at her. "But I'll need company… and something to do." he winked.

"Really?" she played along.

"Oh yes. I don't want to get bored." he explained with a larger grin.

"I guess I'll have to see what Dean's doing." she said "I'm sure he wouldn't mind keeping-" She was cut off when his mouth covered hers in a playful kiss.

"The hell with Dean." He growled kissing her again, this time less playful and more passionately as he walked her backwards to the bed. Pulling her down in it with him.


	16. Holiday note

Hey!

I Live! I'm sorry to everyone who thought this was a long awaited update to one of my fics.

It's not. But soon, with a little luck it will be. I wanted to give you all a quick update.

First I have not abandoned any of my fics. I promise I have notes and updates in progress for all of them! Life has just gotten extremely busy lately. Some of you know my hubby was very ill last year. He his a diabetic and got a blood clot in his leg that resulted in all sorts of complications that nearly cost him his leg. (for the record H is 6 foot 9 , no that isn't a typo, and used to be a bodybuilder, this was not an easy time for him.) His leg was saved as a result of 3 different surgeries, but he hasn't had an easy time. As of now he is still not recovered and we are now being told he probably never will regain full use of the leg.

Anyway all of this has meant many trips to doctors and many meetings with lawyers, not to mention I have had to learn how to run a large part of his business while he is not available.

On top of all of that, As many of you know, I am in the process of several novels. Two of which are moments away from release, with three more in progress, not to mention I too own my own business that has nothing to do with writing, and this is my busy season. Add to that two kids that I home school and just trying to maintain some aspect of a normal life, I think you can see how overwhelmed I have been lately.

Anyway to get to my point. I am going to start to post small, short updates to all of my stories between now and Christmas. It might not be much, but it should be enough to move the stories forward a little at a time.

I have finally opened my Author page on FB look for Pixey Bitters-Author feel free to find me and friend me there and I am on Twitter now as Pixey Bitters. Feel free to find me there and say Hey!

I miss all of your wonderful reviews and comments and I miss the characters I have written here and cant wait to get back to them.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Holiday and cant wait to hear from you!

Xox

EP


	17. Chapter 14

_**Short but intense at least i hope you think so... if nothing else it is one hell of a cliff... Enjoy and FEEDBACK i need it!**_

**Chapter 14**

**The Beggining of the End**

Molly was sleeping soundly and deeply for the first time in what Castiel assumed had to have been weeks . He was tired too, more so than he wanted to admit, but for now he just wanted to watch her. For the first time since she had been returned to him he was afraid he would never see her again and the relief at finally having her all to himself was overwhelming. For now, or for the next week at least, he would follow Doc's orders and cause the woman he loved no more worry.

Molly shifted and Castiel carefully lifted his arm allowing her to move, then replaced it, laying his hand over her now huge stomach. As if on cue the tiny life inside wiggled and squirmed aware of Castiel's presence. He couldn't help but smile and wonder just how Molly could sleep through all of the commotion taking place within her. He must have worn her out he chuckled to himself. Their love making was as wonderful as he'd remembered if not awkward. He relived every sigh and moan in his mind. The feeling of Molly's skin against his own. Her legs intertwined with his. No, there were no complaints, just a longing to have her to himself. Soon enough he would he thought, maybe only for a few stolen moments but that was okay, at least there would be no more awkward maneuvering around swollen bellies. He smiled and as he drifted off to sleep his head filled with thoughts of sneaking off with her to make love at different and often very inappropriate places around camp.

XoXoX

Castiel's eyes shot open. He wasn't sure what woke him, but something had, the sun was just coming up he and Molly had slept through the night. Looking to his side she was still there, sound asleep, it didn't look as though she had budged and inch. Certain that something had jarred him awake the former angel shook his head listened carefully. It was quiet, peaceful, everything seemed perfect…until he heard it again. A gunshot. While the camp had been well stocked with firearms and ammunition it had been years since there was a need to fire a weapon inside the camp.

The demons were gone with Lucifer and the angels for that matter, most of the roadside hijackers and bandits knew that the camp was armed to the teeth and its members had no qualms about defending their home. He had to be wrong, it had to be something else. Then he heard another and this time he was out of bed, swinging his legs to the side and reaching for his old worn jeans on the floor. Standing and sliding the frayed denim over his legs in one smooth motion he was at the door with his hand on his shot gun in less than a minutes time.

Castiel cracked the door to peek out just in time to see the commotion start. On instinct he reached behind him to grab his tattered army jacket and slip it on before loading it's pockets with ammo, and slipping on his boots. His hand was on the door knob when he realized he couldn't leave.

Molly.

He glanced to the bed. She was still sleeping the commotion hadn't woke her and even it if had, in her present condition, she was defenseless against what ever was attacking the camp.

"Fuck!" he hissed, looking towards the bed. He could take her to Doc. She would be safe at the infirmary if he could get her there.

IF?

"No" he shook his head. She wouldn't because Molly wasn't Molly a mere human. She was Maltiel, an angel, a soldier and if there was a battle she was meant to fight she would be knee deep in it just as he was. It was her purpose and Doc could never keep her at the infirmary. He had doubts that he could.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." he hissed this time loud enough to wake her.

"Castiel?" Molly asked sitting up and swing her legs off of the bed. " What is it? What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"No." he grunted looking at her from across the room wishing he didn't have a gun in his hands.

Molly walked across the room towards him just in time to hear more gunfire. "It's time." she nodded.

"Time?" He questioned. "Maltiel time for what?"

She shook her head looking just as confused has he felt.

"Time for what?" Castiel repeated. "You have to tell me what you know Maltiel."

"I don't know, I only feel." she explained as she began to dress.

"No." He growled "You can not go out there I forbid it."

Maltiel smiled at him. "You cannot forbid it Castiel. You know this. It's Fathers will."

"There is no more Father! And I won't lose you again."

"Of course there is. It was him who sent me. It is why I am here."

"I won't lose you!" Castiel snarled, his face beginning to contort and tears welling in his very human eyes. "Either of you." he reached his hand to the large bump that was their child growing inside of her.

"Then we must win, our child IS the balance Castiel."

"Balance?"

"Yes the Demons have their child, the Anti-Christ he is expected to lead them. You know this."

"He survived?"

"Of course."

"He has chosen Evil?"

"He still has free will but he will always be a child conceived of evil."

Castiel nodded understanding. "And our child."

"Filled will Grace… The balance…" Maltiel explained.

"And if we loose?"

"Then we begin again, and you will come for me again."

"NO! All I have to do his keep you both safe. You aren't leaving this cabin."

"No Castiel…I have role to play just as do you."

"Role?"

"Yes… Do you love me?"

"How can you ask? Of course…You know I love you."

"Then you will do what needs to be done."

"And what if I don't know what needs to be done?"


	18. Chapter 15

_BOO! Yeah I'm still alive. Promise to update you all as soon as I get some room to breathe. It's been a few months of tough decisions but for now We are safe and sound in Sebring Fl. Not sure how long we are here for though. Novels are both about ready. I know i been saying that forever the the real world had other plans for me lol. I'm working on the covers now and hoping to have a full release ready by the end of Aug._

_For now a little update here. I hope some of you are still reading anyway ;)_

_This is short and not very sweet at all. A bit confusing and well kinda gross lol. I promise to stay ontop of this one so you dont stay hanging too long._

_Reviews are love and i could use some right now._

_Enjoy :)_

Chapter 15

Blindsided

The alcove was dark and the air around Castiel felt far too warm for a December evening in the post apocalyptic mid-west. It wasn't he knew. The heat was coming from him. He felt as if his blood were boiling and there was no amount of cold that could stop it.

He took another deep breath, and huddled back deeper into the opening between the two buildings. Alone. He just wanted to be alone. For the first time in months his mind ached for escape, for the numbing and blissful effects of his old friends, alcohol and pharmaceuticals.

Bliss?

What was he thinking? There was no more bliss in the world and there never would be again. Casitel sank to his knees. What had he done? Why had he done it? Why hadn't he just saved her? Doc said she could probably be saved. Why did he choose the child?

Oxoxo

When Molly finished dressing she walked past Castiel and put a sure hand on the door knob.

Her back to him, she whispered in a voice that seemed less sure than her hand. "I love you."

"Molly…Maltiel…no…" he hissed out the plea through sobs.

"Tell me you love me Castiel. Tell me before I go this time."

"Yes, yes, yes! I love you. Now get back in bed. I'll deal with this. I promise you will be safe."

"I don't need safety Casitel. That isn't why I was created or why I am here. You know that." she told him with out turning to look at him.

"I don't care why you were created. I only care that you are safe, that we are together. All of us. You, me, our child."

"We will be." she assured him.

"We are now…We can fight them without you. You said yourself our child is the Balance. Why isn't protecting him enough? Why do you have to go out there?" Castiel was screaming, he didn't mean to, but he couldn't help it. Her hand was still on the door and he knew, just like the last time, in the end, he would be powerless to stop her, if she chose to leave.

"Because it is not enough." she said sadly and opened the door.

OXOXO

Fuck! What was he thinking. This wasn't just any child. This was HIS child. Of course he had to save HIS child. And he did. And he was perfect. Maybe the only perfect thing in this God-awful world. Maybe the only perfect thing in thousands of years. He was here and he was perfect. He would change the world.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Why did Castiel feel so shitty then? Why couldn't he even look at him? That was simple, at least in part. The woman, the angel, he loved was dead and Castiel made the choice. He did it wrong…again. And he did if for the wrong reasons too. He didn't save the child because it was HIS. He saved the child hoping against hope that he was doing it right. After all, he obviously didn't have a child when he returned to the past to impregnate Molly.

Fuck his head hurt. He raked a hand over his face the reached into his pocket seeking the small amber bottle that he'd kept there. Old habits die hard. There were no amber bottles in his pockets these days. He hadn't needed one…not since…

"Cas." It was Dean's voice that interrupted the former angel's thoughts. "Cas…Hey, Man look, I know…Okay I know." He said sadly. "This is just shitty the whole way around. But there is stuff we gotta do. You know, like bury her."

Castiel stood stone still inside the alcove and shook his head at the hunter.

"Cas. C'mon. It sucks…I know…Okay maybe I don't know…But. It's gotta be done."

"Not now."

"Cas…Hell it's been three days. We gotta do it."

Castiel turned his head to look at Dean from where he was hunched in the darkness, he shook his head. "No." he hissed.

Dean looked at his friend or, what was left of him. The last four days had taken a toll on him that even the last five years couldn't. He was pale, gaunt. His eyes seemed to peer at Dean out of deep black holes. There was no more sparkle or mischief in them, just defeat and emptiness.

"Okay look…You don't have to do it. Just tell me I can. I mean Cas c'mon. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to lay out there in the cold and ice Cas. Please."

He shook his head more vigorously. "NO."

"Cas!"

"No! Dammit Dean NO!" Castiel shouted.

"She's gone." Dean spoke the words softly.

"She can't be." Castiel growled and stood up.


	19. Chapter 16

Yep still alive...sorry but i didnt forget you guys :) okay this is the next to the last chapter and should answer a lot of questions. Please Review and enjoy. I'll update on life in general when i post the last one in a day or 2 :)

EP:)

Chapter 16

When Molly left the Cabin Castiel didn't chase after her…Maybe he should have, hell maybe he should have tied her to the bed and chained the door shut, but he didn't do any of those things. He didn't for the same reason he didn't chase after her.

It wouldn't have changed a thing.

Molly had a job to do, and no matter how human she had become, she was still, and would always be, an angel. As such, duty would always come first. Faith would always blind her and obedience would always bind her.

XOXO

A small group of Demons had broke through the gates of the camp, leveling the unprepared and inexperienced guards as if they were toy soldiers.

It wasn't their fault. No one expected this. No one saw this coming. No one fought Demons anymore. No one had even seen one in recent years. There hadn't been a hint of activity from either Heaven or Hell for ages.. Everyone thought the human race had been abandoned by both. Everyone thought wrong.

It occurred to Castiel as he watched Maltiel march into the thick of the battle that he should have seen this coming. He should have expected this attack. Of course it wasn't over, Maltiel's existence was proof. Why else was she here? The earth had been purged of all angelic beings for more than 5 years. But she remained ,as did he. He wasn't sure he even counted. He was broken, damaged goods, hardly an angel. But Molly…Maltiel. She was different. She was perfect, cared for almost as if she were being protected.

When Castiel found her, her body bore no affects of the world around her. She was not pale and sallow like everyone else. She was not thin or malnourished as were so many others. She was not sick, and most of all she was pregnant in a world full of the barren.

He should have seen it…Known it…she was an angel and if a divine angel still existed on this earth, then so did the wrath of hell. So did the demons. The Battle was far from over.

OXOXO

Castiel looked down at the cold motionless body of his dead lover and wondered why he wasn't compelled by the same loyalty to heaven to his father, as she was? Perhaps it was the loss of his power, maybe he was truly a human and nothing more. Maybe it was the drugs and the booze, maybe they somehow weakened heaven's hold on him… Or maybe this is just the way it was meant to be…His punishment for daring to _feel _love, feel anything at all.

At least it was quick, he thought looking down on her pale blue skin. But it wasn't…not really.

Molly had laid in the cold now for four days. Castiel couldn't bear the thought of burying her and Doc, and Dean and the others didn't know what to do with her remains. So they cleaned her up and placed her on a gurney, covered her with a warm blanket and wheeled her out the backdoor of the infirmary. It seemed cruel, but they didn't have many options. It was December and the temperatures were well below freezing, as morbid as it seemed, they knew she would _Keep outside in the cold at least until Castiel came to his senses and let them bury her._

_OXOXO_

_When Castiel composed himself and ran out of the Cabin he couldn't believe his eyes. He did his best to shake of the initial shock. What was wrong with him? He'd seen much worse than this in his thousands of years as one of heaven's soldiers. It was just so unexpected, worse they were all so unprepared._

_The camp members were armed with guns, but their ammunition was all but useless. Bullets do little to stop a demon and no one had made a salt round in years. Sure the bullets kill the host, but the demons just jumped into another body. Making the first available camp member their new meat suit._

_Chaos didn't begin to describe the scene._

_Castiel looked around, seeking out Molly. He saw her sanding on a small ridge she was pointing to something while shouting to Dean. Castiel followed the path of her finger and there he saw it…him. An adolescent boy._

_OXOXO_

"_I don't understand." Castiel sobbed as he reached for Molly's hand. "I don't know what choice I was supposed to make…"_

_He hung his head and looked down on her. Bewildered._

"_Hey" It was Sam's voice, soft and companionate, coming from the infirmary doorway just behind where the former angel stood. "She knows you tried to do the right thing." _

_Castiel shook his head._

"_I know I didn't know her as well as the others…But Cas…she knew what she was doing, she saved us all…and you saved her son…your son…Maybe that was how it was meant to be." he shrugged and looked sympathetic._

_XOXOX_

_Molly was now running towards Dean shouting and pointing the whole way._

_Castiel had to squint to be certain he was seeing correctly. Was it? Could it be? Yes… it was…But what did it mean?_

_Jesse Turner. The Anti-Christ. But how?_

_He was a teenager now and by all appearances he seemed to there against his will. It didn't make sense. This child was far more powerful than any Demon. It would be impossible for them to force him to participate in this battle. Unless…Unless he was bound by Lucifer himself._

_Castiel dared move closer trying to hide himself inside the winter bare trees and brush. Yes, he could see now…He was bound. The devil existed, he had to no one else could have done this. And if the devil existed, it served to reason that is father did as well. Heaven was still in tact._

_The prospect of this made Castiel more angry than relieved. _

_He turned his attention back to Molly. She had handed something to Dean. Castiel couldn't see what it was. She was pushing something wrapped it black fabric into his hands and pointing to Jesse. She was talking, shouting at him. Then she turned ran straight at the boy and the two Demons that stood guard at his sides_

_Dean screamed at her as she ran, Castiel screamed at her to stop!_

_She kept going._

_Castiel looked to Dean who was unwrapping the black fabric, it was then Castiel began to understand. It was a blade. Maltiel's own sword. She wanted Dean to kill Jesse with it. But why? Why not just kill him herself?_

_He didn't have time to figure it out. Dean relented and threw the sword at Jesse and Maltiel threw her self in front of it._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Castiel shrieked watching the events play out in surreal slow motion._

_What had she done? Why had she done it?_

_Castiel began to run in the direction of Molly's wounded body. There was blood, so much blood and the closer he got the more he could see. It was pouring, hot and thick from the side of her neck where the sword pierced her and seeping into the cold and frozen ground, melting the ice with it's intense heat._

_The ground began to steam and the demons began to drop all around him._

_Her blood, her blood was purifying the ground around her, driving the demons from their hosts._

_XOXOX_

_Castiel stood alone, once again, next to the gurney where Molly lay. He didn't have words he just knew he was waiting on something….anything…_

_He sighed and clenched his jaw. "Why?" he croaked. "Why did you save him?"_

_OXOXO_

_Castiel reached Maltiel's body and rolled her to her back, blood spurted and more demons dropped. Under her lay Jesse, covered in her blood._

_He looked up at Castiel, "Is she alright?" He asked_

_Castiel glared at the boy, confused and shaken. It was if the whole world stopped turning, he forced himself to focus on his wounded angel's body._

"_Let me see her." Docs voice broke through Castiel's stupor. She was leaning over Maltiel's body trying to apply pressure to her neck._

"_What the hell did she do that for?" Dean snarled looking down at her._

_Castiel tried to answer, tried to shout, to swear to kill Dean, the man who had once been his best friend, but words would not form._

"_Castiel…Cas…" Doc was shouting at him now. "You have to listen to me."_

_He nodded, because he could do little else._

"_She's bleeding out Castiel/" Doc informed him._

"_Oh Fuck." Dean sobbed. "She told me to…she fucking to me to kill him…But she…"_

_Doc looked up at Dean, "It's not important now." she looked back to Castiel as she pressed her hand against Maltiel's injured neck._

"_I don't know if I can fix this Castiel…Do you understand?"_

_He nodded, as if he were in a haze._

"_I can try, but if I do, the baby probably wont make it…" she went on, "She's losing blood too fast."_

_He nodded doing his best to comprehend._

"_You have to tell me Castiel…If I take the baby right now it will live."_

"_Molly?" He questioned_

_Doc shook her head…"I don't know…even if she lives chances are she'll be brain dead."_

_Castiel shook his head._

"_You have to tell me Castiel…If I try to save them both there is a good chance you will lose them both…"_

_He closed his eyes, trying hard to remember what Molly had said…A choice. He had to make the right choice._

"_Castiel…She is running out of time…they both are." Doc pressed._

_He swallowed hard, "The baby." the words came out a hoarse whisper._

_OXOXO _

"_Because those were her orders." The voice was familiar and Castiel wasn't sure if it was comforting or not._

"_I thought you were dead." He replied with out turning to look._

"_You thought we were all dead." The voice answered._

_Castiel let out a hump and a wry chuckle "Doesn't really matter now, does it."_

"_Oh that is where you are wrong little brother."_

_Castiel turned to face Gabriel, his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. "Since when does anything matter to you?"_

"_Hey don't shoot the messenger." Gabriel shrugged and Castiel scowled at him with disgust._

"_What do you want?"_

"_Well this is the part where I normally send you back."_

"_Send me back?" Castiel looked at his brother._

"_Yes, to start over."_

"_So it's you behind all of this?" Castiel hissed._

"_No…no." Gaabriel raised his hands in front of him. "Just following orders."_

"_So now what? I go back and do this again?"_

"_Not this time." Gabriel smiled. "This time you win."_


End file.
